


A Long Time

by BlueFireFly35



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Cheating Pacey, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 04:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8149414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFireFly35/pseuds/BlueFireFly35
Summary: While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task......This is set in season 5.Pacey meets Nora at his dock party. She and Jen relate to him their revenge against Charlie Todd. Joey frets over Dawson's behavior.





	1. Chapter 1

"A ménage a trois." Jen answered, matter of factly. She rushed to thump Pacey on his back as he suddenly spluttered and coughed on a mouthful of beer.

"Lucky dog!" He choked out, catching Nora's eye. She raised her eyebrows expressively at him, smiling widely. 

"Not really!" Jen said smugly. "Eh, Nora?" They both laughed uproariously, and high-fived each other. 

"He was that good, huh?" Pacey stood there with a puzzled frown, eyes darting from one girl to the other. Jen sniggered.

"Nora, it was Pacey who advised me that I should get even with Charlie and his cheating ways with us." 

"Yeah! But it wasn't my idea that you should favor him with hot girlie sex!" 

"Pacey!" Jen smacked him, giggling. He grabbed her, an arm coming round her slight, petite frame and clamped her to his side, hugging and squeezing her vigorously as she squirmed to get away. She whacked him in the stomach and as he doubled over in exaggerated pain, she pulled free, giving him an extra smack around the head before shoving him away.

"Ow! Okay, okay." He said, rubbing his head, with an adorable pout, or so Nora thought to herself. "So, what did you do to him? And do try to remember I’m also a member of the male species, so can we leave out the squeamish details? Please."

"Do the phrases buck naked...?" Nora began. 

"Locked out..." Jen chimed in. 

"Dorm corridor..." Nora added. 

"And gawking peers mean anything to you?" Jen finished, gleefully. 

"Whoa!" 

"I also dumped his favored autographed CD of Pinkerton in the trash and I have decided on a special use for his favorite T-shirt." Jen's eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Let me guess, you're keeping it as a memento of your good times together and you'll be sleeping in it every night?" 

"Err, nope." 

"Somehow, I didn’t think so." Pacey's shoulders shook with merriment. 

"I do need a new cleaning rag for the toilet, though." 

"And I ripped up and threw away his notes for the history mid-term this coming Monday." Nora sighed, happily. 

"Remind me never to cross you two ladies. Ever!" He gave a mock shudder that had them in fits of laughter. Nora had the most gorgeous smile, he noticed. And the most delicious lips...

"I think you're safe. Unless you become a member of the two-timing snake variety." She told him, smiling straight into his eyes.

"Heaven forbid." He laid a hand upon his heart. 

"Nah, he's a good 'un." Jen quipped. "Oh, there's Joey. I’m going to tell her all about it, just in case she ever needs to employ such tactics herself..."

 

Joey had thought it a very good idea to bring her dorm roommate Audrey to Pacey's impromptu boat party. Well, it wasn't actually his boat. It was the alumni rep for Worthington, Mr Kublick’s 50ft yacht, but Pacey was a great caretaker of it. It seemed like he'd invited all of his fellow work mates from Civilization's kitchen, too.

Audrey's mom had been awful at dinner earlier that evening and Joey did feel a little bad about mouthing off at her, but Audrey didn’t deserve to be treated like that by her own mother. Anyway, here they were and she was glad in one sense because now Audrey was in her element - surrounded by cute boys and Joey now knew why Dawson had ignored her phone call earlier that evening. He’d gone out gallivanting with Jack and his frat brats. She had been so pleased to see Dawson turn up here. The last thing she had expected was that he’d turn on her and blame her for his father, Mitch's, death. Joey felt the prick of tears behind her eyes, but swallowed them back. She knew she couldn't expect everything to go on as before now that Mitch was gone. The death of a parent was a hell of a blow. She should know that better than anyone here. So she expected that the delicate subject of she and Dawson's renewed romance would be left suspended. It had to be. Dawson hadn't spoken of it and she was reluctant to ask exactly how they were going to progress with it now - especially as he’d more or less pushed her away at every turn since his father died. 

Joey pasted on a bright smile as Jen suddenly materialized at her side... 

 

"So, decided against doing the college thing, huh?" Nora picked up the conversation as Jen left. 

"I, uh, apparently have a problem with authority figures." 

"That must cause problems with your boss." 

"My boss loves me." Pacey smiled. 

"You must have a way with people, then." 

"I can be a pretty accommodating guy." 

"Is your boss female?" She rolled her eyes, suggestively, tongue in cheek. 

"Uh, uh uh." Pacey wagged a finger playfully at her. "Nope! Funnily enough, he's a grown up version of me! Ask Jen. Heh! That's probably why we get on so well. Taught me everything I know about the restaurant business. He's a top notch guy."

"Therefore that makes you a top notch guy too, right?" 

"Most assuredly." Pacey husked, with a winning smile. 

"Real sure of yourself, aren't you?" 

"Does that mean you think I’m really an arrogant pig or just dashingly confident?" He raised a quizzical eyebrow. She had gorgeous big, brown eyes.

"Well, I’m a girl who likes to rely on her instincts..." 

Pacey interrupted her by putting a fist up to cover his mouth as he faked a coughing fit in the middle of muttering Charlie's name. 

Nora's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You rotten…!" She laughed and batted him hard on his arm. 

"What is it with you violent women?" She couldn't help laughing with him as he tried to dodge her. 

"As I was saying," she continued, giving him a narrowed eyed look of warning, "my instincts are usually dead on. I didn’t say I always got it right...hence Charlie Todd. However, if you'd rather have me think of you as an arrogant pig, just go ahead and make fun."

"I’m just kidding." He rested a hand briefly on her arm. "No one gets it right all the time. Believe me." 

"Oh?" 

"I’ve had my fair share of heartache. Who hasn't?" He shrugged. 

"Who'd want to break the heart of such a top notch guy?" 

"Sometimes you just can't fight destiny." He tried to say it light-heartedly, but he didn’t quite pull it off and she saw his eyes darken before he looked away. 

As luck would have it, his eyes fell on Joey. She seemed engrossed in Jen's conversation, but her eyes furtively darted over to Dawson every few seconds. Nora followed Pacey's gaze, watched the pretty brunette for a second or two before returning to Pacey's face. She saw his mouth thin and tighten imperceptibly, and it was all she could do to hold back the impulse to reach out to smooth and soften the line of his mouth with the brush of her fingers. He turned back to her with a bright smile.

"You believe in fate?" Nora asked softly. Her gaze travelled his face, sweeping over the dark winged brows; the eyes that tried to hide so much, but revealed everything. This guy intrigued her. He seemed so laid back and easy going, yet there was a hidden depth in his eyes and a strain in his voice, that spoke of a sad pain, a broken heart, regret and loss. The shadow of brooding melancholy brought up an instinctive want in her. She wanted to make him forget himself in her. Nora shook herself mentally, inwardly laughing at her fanciful thoughts. Down girl, she told herself.

"When it suits me." He replied with a wry twist of his mouth. "Do you?" 

"I’m on the fence. But it'd be quite easy to believe in it tonight." 

"Why's that?" He asked, taking another swig of his beer. 

"Oh, I go to Boston Bay with Jen and you don't go to college at all. I fell for a two-timing snake and if Jen had reacted differently and not taken your," she poked him in the chest, her finger resting there, "advice about getting even, she and I might never have become friends. She wouldn't have invited me to a party on your boat and I might never have met you." 

"You think that would be a bad thing?" He had liked the look of this girl on sight and his interest in her was growing with every second that passed. She had the most amazing mouth with wide, full luscious lips that begged to be kissed. He wanted accept that invitation.

A creeping flood of heat seeped through Nora's body. Did he know how intently he was staring at her mouth? It her lips tingle in response - and wish that he’d press his own against them.

Her finger still rested on his chest and Pacey took hold of it, enveloped her hand in his own, his gaze never leaving hers. Something of what she was thinking must have communicated itself to him because she watched as he raised her hand to his mouth, turned it over, to lightly graze her inner wrist with warm, firm lips. Her own lips parted on a small, silent gasp and her eyes flew back up to find him watching her intently. She slowly drew her hand away from his. They looked at each other for a long, electric moment before Nora let her lashes fall to half-mast, hiding her expression. She couldn't believe how attracted she was to him so soon after the Charlie debacle. 

"Dashingly confident. Definitely." She answered his earlier question. He looked at her so openly, so expressively; it made her stomach quiver. He gave her a crooked grin and she felt those nerves tingle. She cleared her throat. "So, this is your boat, huh?" 

"Not quite,' he admitted ruefully, 'but I’ve pretty much got free rein with it. Do you like boats?" 

"I’ve never actually been on one." 

"Never? You live in Boston Bay and you've never been on a boat? You don't know what you're missing! I love them. Even had my own once." 

"What happened to her?" His hesitation wasn't slight enough to escape her notice. 

"How'd you know it was a she?" Was he avoiding the question? 

"All boats are referred to in the female vernacular. I know that much about boats!" 

"Yeah, right! You landlubber!" 

"So what happened to her, Pacey?" She asked again, softly persistent. 

"We got caught up in a storm." The words came slowly, almost reluctantly. "I had to abandon her and she sank. Jen will tell you all about it. She was with me and thought we were going to sink with her until Dawson and Joey came to the rescue. It was quite an adventure. But I’ve got this lovely lady now. Would you like a guided tour?" 

"What was she called?" His eyes flickered rapidly, and she guessed the pretty brunette was not too far behind the darkness she glimpsed in them. 

"True Love." Despite his best intentions, she heard the wealth of emotion he tried to omit from his voice. 

"She meant a lot to you, didn’t she?" She wasn't sure if she was asking him about his lost boat or his lost, pretty brunette.

"Maybe I’ll tell you all about it sometime. So, would you like the Pacey Witter guided tour?" He neatly changed the subject and she let him.

"What's so unique about the Pacey Witter guided tour?" She asked, teasingly. 

"Follow me and you'll find out." He stepped aboard the small yacht and offered her his hand. She took it and followed him on board...

 

"...I mean how could he say such a thing to me? It was horrible." 

"I know, but remember he's not himself." 

"I know, I know." Joey sighed, frowning. "I’m just really worried about him Jen. I mean he's drunk. How could Jack have taken him out and got him drunk?" She cried, flapping her arms in distress.

"Well, that's Jack's MO these days, isn't? What's good for him is good for Dawson." Jen sighed. "It's just a distraction, Jo. He doesn't want to think. He doesn't want to be treated differently because his father has died."

"This is not the way to go about it, though." 

"He needs time." 

"I know." Joey agreed, her eyes resting on Dawson as he laughed raucously with Jack and his frat buddies. Another heavy sigh and her gaze wandered away, stopping on Audrey as she engaged a handsome young man in flirtatious chit-chat. Joey shook her head, smiling and moved on until she alighted on Pacey himself who was standing near the boat, bottle of beer in hand, engaged in what seemed an intense conversation with a very pretty girl with wild, curly hair and honey brown skin. She was gazing up at him intensely. It was like the rest of the world was shut away and for them there was no one else. Joey's smile faded and she quickly turned back to Jen.

"But he won't even let me help him. He doesn't want me around." 

"Joey..." 

"He was such a comfort for me when my mother died. I just want to do the same for him." 

"Grief affects people differently. I know you¬-" 

"Who's that girl over there with Pacey?" Joey interrupted abruptly. The words escaped her mouth without warning. "I-I’ve never seen her before."

"That," Jen began with relish, "is Nora! My partner in crime." 

"What?" 

"Charlie was cheating on me with her and vice versa." 

"What?" Joey's eyes were round like saucers." 

"Yep! We got him back good and proper, though!" She related her adventure to Joey who kept glancing at Nora and Pacey, and then she couldn't tear her eyes away as she saw Pacey take Nora's hand and raise her wrist to his lips so intimately. Too intimately. Joey felt her mouth suddenly go dry and she wrenched her eyes away.

"Well, they seem to be getting along very well." Jen looked sharply at Joey. Something in the tone of her voice was off. 

"It'd be good if they did." Jen said slowly, watching them. "She's really great, and well shot of Charlie - we both are, and Pacey deserves a good woman." 

"Yeah." Joey rejoined, a little inadequately, Jen thought. She saw Joey's eyes rest on them again. 

"Yes, of course he does." She added with a touch more enthusiasm.

"They look hot for each other already. Oh, that girl is gonna get a grilling later -oh- that's if I get to see her." Jen added, suggestively, as they watched Pacey help Nora onto the boat and follow her down into the cabin. Jen bit her lip in hidden bemusement at the brief glimpse of consternation that lit Joey's face before she sharply focused back on Jen and gave a nonchalant shrug.

"I’m going to find Audrey." She announced. "See you later." She added, remembering her manners and she gave a quick smile before moving off.

Joey had always been lousy at hiding her feelings, Jen thought. But if she was rediscovering feelings for Pacey, Jen hoped she would keep them to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.  
> Pacey gives Nora a tour of his boat and asks for a date. Joey realizes there's room in her mind for someone other than Dawson.

"Wow, this is gorgeous. Cozy, but still spacious. I’m impressed! And you get to live in this." Pacey followed Nora as she moved into the cabin.

"That I do." 

"Now this is called the galley, right?" 

"Right." 

"Do you cook much here?" 

"Not so much. Except for practice and experimenting. I can eat at the restaurant if I want. But anytime you want to savor the culinary delights my galley has to offer I’d be more than happy to accommodate you." 

She eyed him, suspiciously, as she tried to ignore the rush of heat that invaded her body. The innuendo loaded in that sentence was too strong to ignore, but he looked right back at her with complete innocence. Yet, she knew, and he knew that she knew. 

"I may take you up on that." She murmured. 

"It'd be my pleasure." There was no mistaking the husky, intimate timbre of his voice now and Nora felt the color that suffused her face. She quickly turned to walk into the next room and realized it was the bedroom. She stopped abruptly causing Pacey to bump into her as he came up behind. 

"Oops! Sorry." His hands automatically came up either side of her hips to steady himself, but quickly dropped his hands. 

"My fault. Um, big bed for such a small space." This was the first thing that spilled from her mouth in a mixture of embarrassment and amusement.

"Well, there's not much else you need to do in here apart from sleep, usually." 

"Nice color scheme." 

"Not down to me, but I like it." Nora turned to face him. It was too disturbing standing in the doorway, eyeing the bed that dominated the room, with Pacey so close behind her.

"Now, why don't you take me up top and show me which way is port and which is starboard? I can never remember which is which." Pacey raised his eyebrows at her suggestively, but she blushed without a word.

"Have dinner with me one evening this week," he asked, answering her question with one of his own. She opened her mouth, and then snapped it shut, hesitating, and he took hold of the end of her scarf, fiddling and pulling on it. "And I’m not talking a free meal at Civilization. You choose. What do you say?"

"You ask so charmingly, it's hard to refuse." She looked up at him. They were standing so close, they were almost touching. 

"But you feel the need to make me beg a little, right?" 

"Well, it isn't going to do your confidence any harm, is it? You've got too much for that." She added, with a cheeky tilt to the curve of her mouth.

"I think you could do a man's ego a lot of harm." 

"You talking about Charlie?" 

"No, I’m talking about how long I’ve been holding my breath in anticipation of your answer." 

She laughed. 

"Not that I’m averse to begging, let me tell you." He rushed on. "In fact, I’m an advocate for it. I mean, a man on his knees begging, a beautiful woman, they go hand in hand in my book. What d'you say?" He gave her a warm, disarming grin. He was good at them.

"I-I think it'd be nice to save the begging for later." She said meaningfully. 

"You'll get no argument from me on that." He murmured. 

"I’m busy most of this week-" She hurried on. 

"The weekend, then?" 

"Um, Friday night, maybe? Oh, I don't know. Wouldn't it be silly of me date again so soon? Jen and I only saw off Charlie tonight." 

"Did it hurt?" 

"Huh?" 

"How badly did it hurt? The fiasco with Charlie?" She drew a slow, deep breath before looking him in the eye. 

"Not enough to stop me from thinking about kissing you." She saw the leap of fire in his smiling eyes 

"Friday night it is then, yes?" He asked, gently. 

"Yes." 

"And I’ll very much look forward to kissing you then. Or..." 

"Or..." She questioned, arching a brow. His hand rose to her face, her mouth parted readily, and his head began a slow descent towards hers and - 

"Pacey!" Pacey and Nora jumped apart, and their heads snapped toward the intrusion. Joey was already half way down the stairs. "Oh, I’m sorry. I-" She trailed off, but continued down into the cabin.

"It's okay. I was just going to find Jen. Thanks for the tour, Pacey." Nora eased past him and moved to stand next to Joey. "Hi, I’m Nora." 

A shimmer of awkwardness hung in the air.

"I’m Joey. You're Jen's friend, from Boston Bay, right?" Nora took note of the tight smile that didn’t quite reach Joey's eyes. 

"Yes, she invited me tonight. I’m glad I came. I’ve enjoyed myself." She glanced at Pacey. "Bye." 

"I’ll confirm details with you later." Pacey said. 

"Okay. See ya. Bye Joey." 

"Bye. Nice meeting you." They both watched Nora leave. Then Joey turned back to Pacey. She assumed an apologetic expression.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything." 

"You didn’t." 

"Well, you looked cozy." Pacey didn’t reply, and there was an odd, awkward pause before she rushed on. "She seems really nice." 

"She is." 

"Did Jen tell you what they got up to tonight?" 

"Yeah, but when I advised Jen that a little revenge was in order I didn’t quite envision a ménage a trois!" He chuckled.

"He should be so lucky!" 

"Oh yes, he would have been a very lucky man, indeed." Pacey agreed with a fervency that furrowed Joey's brow. 

"He deserved what he got!" 

"Heh! So what can I do for you?" Pacey came back fully into the room stopping a few feet short of her. 

"Huh?" 

"You came in looking for me, yeah?" 

"Uh, yeah...but...I can't for the life of me remember why! You know what, never mind. Forget it. It can't have been important." 

"Okay." Pacey shrugged. "How's Dawson doing?" 

"Like he's having the time of his life." 

"Jack had the right idea, but maybe alcohol shouldn't have been involved. Still, Dawson needs to let go a little. He doesn't want to constantly be reminded about Mitch's death."

"Is that why he feels the need to blame me for it?" Joey complained bitterly. 

"He's Dawson. What do you expect?" Pacey shrugged, but smiled to soften the comment. "I doubt he really means it. Don't hold it against him, Jo." 

"I don't. Not really. It just hurt to hear him say something so awful." 

"You guys have said a lot of awful things to each other over the years. It never seemed to make much of a difference to anything, as far as I could tell." Joey looked up sharply at him, but saw nothing untoward in his face. 

And she suddenly found she didn’t want to talk about Dawson with him - like she had done so effortlessly over the last few months. She wanted to know what was going on in Pacey's life. She wanted to know how far it would have gone if she hadn't interrupted the near kiss between him and Nora. She wanted to know why it bugged her so much that they were anywhere near to kissing, but she was afraid to find out why she had come looking for him on a pretext, knowing he was in the cabin quarters with Nora, in the hope of interrupting just such a scene.

"Yeah, well..." She trailed off. "I can't believe Charlie fell for that stunt! Can you?" 

"Oh, yes! I was just saying to Nora how a beautiful woman can bring a man begging to his knees." Joey's smile faltered. She struggled to keep it in place. 

"And what brought about that conversation, I wonder?" Did she nearly snap at him? She injected a teasing lilt to her voice. "Laying on the Witter charm thick and hard, were you?" She froze, heat invading her face in a rush. A teasing light danced in his eyes at her words, a wolfish grin playing about his lips. 

"I didn’t just say that." She groaned, briefly covering her eyes before glaring at him. 

"Um, you did! You make it so easy, Potter!" 

"Shall we drop this line of conversation?" Pacey opened his mouth to answer, but she forestalled him. "Yes, I think we should." 

"Okay. I’ll let you off the hook this one time." 

"Anyway," she shifted, unconsciously shifted from foot to foot, 'Jen said Nora's a great girl and that you deserved a good woman." 

"Jen's already put her matchmaking hat on, huh? I think she's right about Nora, though. Maybe I’ll be lucky this time round, then. Nora seems...what?" Pacey broke off at the odd look that passed over Joey's face.

"Nothing!" Joey quickly said, giving him a fleeting smile as she turned away. "Let's get back to the party. They must be wondering where we are." She hurried up the stairs without looking back. 

Pacey watched her go from where he stood, noting the tense set to her shoulders - and he wasn't sorry at all.

 

**************

Pacey got Nora's number from Jen and he’d spoken to her three times already when Friday rolled around. He had even managed to find time to visit the Boston Bay campus in between shifts at Civilization. Jen was under no illusions that it had anything to do with Pacey wanting to visit one of his old friends more often. She rolled her eyes hard when he tried, charmingly of course, to imply that that was exactly the reason for his two visits in one week to her campus. he was tickled pink at the thought of Pacey and Nora getting it on, though. Nora tried to play it cool, but Jen knew she was keen on Pacey and really flattered by his attention. He managed to snatch some time with Nora during those visits, as she dashed about campus, visiting friends, studying and running errands. He met her roommate, a goth chick who Nora got on quite well with, except for the blaring music and the constant sex sessions with her boyfriend. 

Danny hadn't been pleased when Pacey had asked for Friday off at such short notice, but he’d finally relented when Pacey told him that the affections of a hot girl were at stake. Well, that and the constant daily begging helped.

So when his mobile rang, waking him up at 2am Thursday night, his irritation melted away when he heard Nora's voice at the other end of the line.

"Hi."

Hey." 

"I woke you, didn’t I?" 

"Uh, yeah," he rubbed his eyes with his free hand, "but I don't mind - now I know it's you." 

"Even half asleep the charm comes naturally to you." 

"It's not hard when you're around. So what are you doing up at this time?" 

"Couldn't sleep. I’ve had trouble sleeping all week, actually." 

"No kidding, I’ve been waking up in cold sweats every night!" 

"Huh?" 

"Yep, I’m stressing about how I should approach the obligatory goodnight kiss at the end of our date. Should I go in all manly and guns blazing? Sweeping you off your feet? Or should I try the tentative, shy guy approach? Should I try to catch you unawares as you're about to tell me what a great evening you had, aside from the part where I kept drooling heavily into my soup every time I looked into your beautiful face all evening? 'Cos I know you're going to look stunning." A pause. "I dunno. All I know is, I want to kiss you very badly. I’m loving the anticipation, though."

"Pacey, you crack me up, but I’m loving the anticipation, too. Why do you think I’m calling you at two in the morning? I wanted to tell you that I’m looking forward to our date, Pacey."

"So am I." He smiled, happily into the handset, stifling his yawn. 

"Night, Pacey. Sleep well. I have a feeling you won't be bothered with sleepless nights and the sweats after our date!" She laughed.

"Hmm, night Nora." He was hoping for the exact opposite, actually, but for very different reasons! 

"Night, Pacey." She said, softly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5. (Sexually explicit content)  
> The end of Pacey's date encounters a slight hiccough when Nora has a moment of doubt.

“So Charlie's declared his undying love for you in poetic prose?" 

Pacey held the restaurant door open to allow Nora through. Dinner had been delicious, so had been the sight of Nora in a knockout, tongue drooling, red dress with matching coat and stilettos. Pacey was walking her back to the campus, immensely pleased with how well the evening had gone.

“Fat lot of good it's going to do him!" Nora snorted. Her eyes clouded briefly. "Jen was upset when I mentioned it to her. She said she wasn't. But I knew she was."

“She's not still interested in him?" Pacey was dismayed. 

"No, but I assumed he was sending letters to both of us, trying to woo at least one of us back..." 

"But he was actually only sending them to you. Bastard." Pacey blew heavily through pursed lips. "Jen will bounce back. She's tough. She won't let that prick get the better of her. She can do miles better, and so can you."

"I’m finding that out." Nora murmured her assent. 

"Oh?" He looked at her as they strolled along, but her gaze was concentrated elsewhere. 

"Pacey?" 

"Mmm?" 

They stopped and he looked down into her upturned face. He couldn't quite decipher her expression, but her eyes danced infectiously, causing him to grin back at her. A speculative gleam also entered his eyes as he watched Nora reach up to finger his shirt collar, her fingers smoothing down over to the top button, playing with it.

"I don't think I want to wait for the perfunctory goodnight kiss at my dorm door." 

"No?" His eyebrows shot up in surprised pleasure. He played it cool while his heart began to hammer in his chest. 

"No,' she whispered, grabbing his jacket sleeve, and pulling him away with her. 

"Where are we going?" Pacey yelped in surprise, but in truth quite happy to follow her anywhere. 

They half ran part way down the street before she pulled him inside an alleyway, and pushed him back against the wall. 

"Are you handy with a bullwhip, too?" He gasped with laughter. 

"Mmm hmm, handcuffs and nipple clamps, too." She breathed in his ear, hands resting on his chest. 

"Ouch!" Pacey croaked, jokily. Then the smile was wiped off his face as she trailed her lips across his cheek, feather light, to place a tiny kiss at the corner of his mouth. She smiled at his appreciative moan. Pacey closed his eyes, exhaled slowly, offering his mouth for more. Another kiss, right corner of his bottom lip, and then she slid the tip of her tongue lightly along his bottom lip, just inside, dipped into his mouth and just as quickly slipped back out.

"Nora..." He moaned softly. His eyes fluttered open as she snaked her hands up and into his hair, fingering its short, crisp silkiness. He gripped her hips tightly, wanted to drag her skirt up over his hands and caress her smooth golden skin.

"I knew underneath all that shyness,' he whispered, against her lips, 'there was a temptress aching to break out and bring me begging to my knees."

"Me shy?" She denied, sweetly. "And I haven't seen you beg yet!" With that, she opened her mouth to his. Pacey responded readily, plundering her mouth slowly, lingeringly, savoring its sweetness. When she tried to step back, he smartly pulled her back in to his body. "More, please." He murmured, before he burned a hot trail of kisses down her arched neck and back up to toy torturously with her ear before returning hungrily to her mouth. Eventually, she stepped back, hands still resting on his chest trying to rein in her breathlessness.

Heavy-lidded, voice like ruffled velvet, he asked. "So what now?" 

She tilted her head, frowning quizzically, up at him, but that dancing light had returned. "Hmm, so which side of the boat is port and which is starboard? You never did show me, you know." 

He laughed, dropping a brief, hard kiss on her mouth. He wanted to kiss this girl, and kiss her and kiss her and... 

"Are you sure you're ready for this? It's a lengthy and complicated procedure. Could take all night." He quipped, but there was a careful watchfulness in his eyes. 

After a moment, "Okay, show me port and starboard and then your coffee making skills." She replied. 

"You're the boss." Pacey nodded and smiled. 

This girl was driving him crazy. He hadn't met anyone he liked as much as he did her. There had been a brief fling with Melanie, the dean's niece, but that had strictly been for fun and he’d fallen headlong into it after finding out about Joey and Dawson. It had ended amicably after a few great nights of lust. Very athletic girl for a wannabe lawyer! But Nora was a heady mixture of shyness and teasing seductiveness. Coupled with the delectable delights of Jen, it was no wonder Charlie wanted to have his cake and eat it! 

After being dragged into an alleyway and being ravished, Pacey was panting for more. He loved a woman who knew what she wanted - and how. Tamara had a lot to answer for! As for Joey, well she was the past now. He had to move on, close off that part of his heart, and he began to think it might be easier than he thought with Nora.

Finally, they reached his boat. He helped her on board. Stretching out one arm he said, "Port!" then thrust his other arm out and said, "Starboard!" He turned and grinned at her. 

"Is that it?" she asked with mock indignation. 

"I can show you the interior again, if you like." 

"Been there, done that. What else can you tempt me with?" The eyes she pinned on him filled his mind with all kinds of racy possibilities.

"Come inside, if you dare." He twirled an imaginary villain's moustache and laughed evilly. 

"Idiot!" 

"Who are you calling an idiot?" He grabbed her in a bear hug and nuzzled into her neck, nipping at her skin, as if gobbling her up. Nora squealed with muffled laughter against his shoulder, shoving at him. In retaliation, he zoomed up to her ear, teasing it with his tongue. Nora felt seductive warmth stealing through her body. 

"Pacey..." she murmured. He stepped back. 

"Come on, let's go inside." 

He went over to the cabin door, unlocking it. Nora stepped in, going down the stairs and he followed. They stood facing each other. Teasing aside, Pacey determined that he’d wait until Nora made the first move. It was her show and he didn’t want to blow this. 

"Music?" he asked, going over to the radio on the corner table, switching it on. 

"Yeah. Let me." She followed him and fiddled with the radio knob. "How about this?" She asked. 

"Err, I’m more a classic rock kinda guy." 

"Can you dance?" 

"After a fashion." 

"Come here." 

"What about the coffee? 

"Later. Come here." 

"You want to dance to this?" 

She slipped her coat off tossing it onto the sofa. He again had the pleasure of seeing how well her dress smoothed snugly over her body. He tried not to lick his lips. She wasn't going to have to ask him a second time!

"Come on Pacey. Listen to the lady..." 

'Move closer,  
Move your body real close until we  
Feel like we're really making love...' 

She held her hand out. He slipped his jacket off. Tossing it onto the sofa with her own, then took her hand. She moved into the circle of his embrace and they started to sway. She sighed and relaxed against his body.

"You like this song, huh?" 

"I just think it's appropriate." 

"Very good swaying music." Pacey agreed. He cleared his throat. He wanted very badly to smooth his hands down over her hips and thighs and slide them underneath her dress. That desire grew tenfold when she slipped a knee between his legs and then in time to the music rolled her hips, slowly, intimately over the cradle of his own. Pacey stifled his moan. There was no hiding his instant hard on, but he managed to pick up the rhythm quickly enough.

"Hmm, there could be something to this dancing lark," he mused. 

"Only now you realize, huh?" 

"I have heard it likened to foreplay." 

"Really?" Nora leaned her head back to look up at him beneath her lashes. "I can't think why." 

He kissed her, deeply, as their bodies undulated to the slow sexy melody. The kiss became more heated. Pacey's hands stroked the length of her bare back, revealed by her dress, and was rewarded with the peaking of her hard nipples against his chest. 

I don't want to stop, Nora thought. She wanted to pull his shirt out of his pants and run her hands over his back the way he was driving her crazy doing the same to her. She wanted to feel the heat of his bare skin against hers. She wanted him right here on the floor, but most especially on that big bed...Nora drew back suddenly. 

"I think I should go." 

"Huh?" It took a second for Pacey to come back to himself. 

Nora bit her lip. This overwhelming attraction she had for Pacey was a little frightening. She remembered how cute she’d thought Charlie was, but this whirlwind force of emotions she felt for Pacey was in a different league. Was it real? Or just a salve to her wounded pride over Charlie's betrayal and his heel of clay? This was too soon, too fast. Better she give herself some breathing space before this went too far. She needed to be sure that she really wanted Pacey and wasn't just on the rebound. That made sense, didn’t it?

"Yeah, I-I should go, I think." It didn’t sound convincing even to her ears, but she slipped out of his arms anyway, avoiding his puzzled gaze.

"My dancing isn't that bad, is it?" His attempt at humor didn’t leave either of them smiling. 

"I have to go, Pacey." 

"Uh, okay." He watched as she picked up her coat, quickly shrugging into it. She grabbed her purse, as he switched off the radio, and turned to face him. She saw her own disappointment mirrored in his eyes, though he tried to keep his expression blank.

"I’m sorry. I-." She searched his face. "I-I’ll call you tomorrow." He nodded. 

Nora hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. Was she doing the right thing? All she could think about was how badly she wanted Pacey. About what they could be doing right now. Why should she let her run in with Charlie ruin what could be the start of something really good with Pacey? But the last thing she should do was repeat her mistakes. She got involved with Charlie too fast and now she was doing the same with Pacey. And yet...she turned slowly to face him. Her teeth came together to bite at her bottom lip, reflecting her inner turmoil and indecision. He simply stood watching her. 

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. She laughed, a little self-consciously. 

"I don't want to go." She threw her hands up. 

"Then why are you?" 

"This is how I got into trouble with Charlie." 

"I’m not Charlie." 

"I-I know, but with him it moved too fast. I didn’t think first." 

"And you're thinking now?" 

"Yes, except...I really don't want to go." 

"Then don't." The smoky huskiness of his voice went straight to her groin. She closed her eyes briefly. 

"You're not helping." 

"Oh, but I am - myself! Might I add I make a mean omelet, you know." 

"You do?" 

"Uh huh. Best meal of the day, breakfast, you know." He raised an expressive eyebrow. Nora shook her head with amusement. He came over and rested a hand on either shoulder. "There's no pressure here, Nora. I’m easy, you know. If you feel you must go, then go. There's no rush. I’ll call you tomorrow, yeah?"

His little speech earned him a narrow stare. God! Did this guy have any idea how adorable he was? 

"Yeah." She agreed. Each leaden step seemed to take forever. Pacey watched her climb the steps to the door. She turned to look down at him. He gazed back in return, his brows raised quizzically, a small regretful smile on his mouth. Nora groaned inwardly. To hell with it! Her good sense had been fighting a losing battle the day she met Pacey. She shot him a quick grin, with no lingering indecision in her eyes.

"How about a wake-up call." 

"Sure! What time?" 

"Whatever time the delicious scent of your mean omelet wafts under my nose." Then with determined movements, she clattered back down the steps, reached out and pulled open Pacey's shirt revealing a black vest that clung to his muscles. He looked down at her hands as they followed the contours of his body. She slid her palms over his chest and up his shoulders to clasp them behind his head, bringing her body into close contact with his.

"Yes, ma'am!" He murmured, as he pulled her closer. His long fingered hands came up to gently cup her face and she eagerly accepted the kiss. She barely noticed as Pacey slipped her coat off, without coming up for breath. They continued to kiss as she helped him shrug out of his shirt, laughing breathlessly together when his hands became caught in the cuffs. She yanked on them until he was free. His hands immediately came down over her hips, slipping down over the folds of her skirt and its flirty hem that cried out to be lifted by his hands. Dragging it up, his hands slid smoothly underneath to caress silky thighs, before smoothing back over her pert, rounded bottom, squeezing and caressing over the satin of her panties. He couldn't help the sighing groan that escaped. This was exactly what he’d wanted to do the moment he’d seen her in this dress. Nora arched and rolled against his hard on as she pushed his vest up, gasping against his skin. 

"Want to taste you, Pacey." She moaned, licking and nipping along his collarbone and down over his chest. Pacey pulled off the vest revealing his toned body. Nora clutched Pacey's shoulders mindlessly, losing herself in the seductive haze induced by Pacey's nuzzling of her ear. His mouth took over and blazed a trail down her neck and throat before searching out her mouth again, nipping gently at her bottom lip.

"Pacey..." She sighed, slipping her arms around his waist to play over the flexing muscles of his back before trailing down to knead his bottom the way he had hers. "Take my dress off. Now." She muttered against his lips.

"You don't need to ask me twice." He husked, with a grin. "I’ve been imagining you out of this dress all evening." He left the delightful ministrations he’d been enjoying with her rear, reached up and unzipped the back of her dress. His breath hitched in his throat with anticipation and the pleasure being wrought by Nora's lush lips manipulating one nipple on his chest. He let the dress drop to the floor, leaving just her svelte, heated, golden body against him in just a couple of scraps of red satin to hide her modesty and spiked red heels. He drew in a long careful breath of air, eyes dark and hooded, and licked his suddenly very dry lips. Pacey's cock strained insistently against the confines of his pants. 

She kicked off her shoes and he pulled her back into him for a bout of frantic, hungry kissing, their hands sliding, squeezing, caressing everywhere on each other's bodies. 

"Mmm..." Pacey moaned appreciatively, and with an arm supporting her back and his other hand in her hair holding her head, he buried his head in her cleavage, inhaling, nuzzling, licking and kissing. Her skin was so smooth, so satiny and scented. 

"Pacey..." 

"Beautiful." He muttered. "You are so fucking beautiful!" He hauled her against him, hefting her up off her feet and maneuvered his way into the bedroom, his lips roaming her face with tiny heated kisses. 

Nora reveled in it all, feeling so hot and so ready for this guy in a way she’d never felt for anyone before.

They stumbled back onto the bed, Pacey looming over her and she let her hands smooth over his chest and flat stomach, until they fell to his trouser belt. Her hands trembled and fumbled in her haste. She looked into Pacey's eye with a wry frown of frustration that made him chuckle. 

"Let me. Mine are marginally less shaky than yours!" 

"Thank goodness for that!" She chuckled and helped him drag his pants down. There was no hiding how aroused he was and her questing hands eagerly stroked and massaged his cock. Pacey groaned softly in full appreciation. Deftly he unclipped her bra and the shiny red scrap of material joined his belt and pants on the floor. Greedily, breath coming fast between his lips, his eyes ate her up with a gaze so hard and hot that she felt inexplicably shy and squirmed beneath his heated gaze. She could feel the blush creeping up her body. She reached up to grip the nape of his neck and inexorably pulled him down.

"Mmm..." Tenderly, sweetly, he suckled hard nipples in turn, cupping and molding her breasts with his hands as he took in his fill.

"I’ve been fantasizing,' Nora gasped, 'about-about you and me on-on this bed ever since your party." 

He suckled harder, pulling gently and flicking with his tongue... 

"You and me both,' Pacey agreed, brushing his lips exquisitely back and forth against one tingling nub, "except I’m also thinking the shower and the floor and the deck and...well, you get my drift." He smiled as he nuzzled with nose and mouth against the other taut dark bud.

"Oh, y-yes!" 

"You ready yet, Nora?" He asked, voice like ruffled silk against her nerves. "Hmm?" His hand caressed its way down her tingling body; one finger followed the rimmed edge of her panties, easing its way between her thighs. Nora clutched at his biceps, fingers digging in as he bowed his head and allowed the tip of his nose to follow the path of his finger, nudging her thighs apart. 

"Pacey..." 

"You smell so good..." Then his tongue got busy against the musky, damp strip of material that barely covered her. His mouth worked against the material, his tongue probing and tracing the outline of her. Nora thrust her hips up against him, gripping his hair as her body shook with her first orgasm. She gasped, laughing as Pacey caught her eye. One finger slipped beneath the red strip, easing it aside to expose her to his greedy eyes, the faint warm puff of his breath stirred against her. He dipped his head, inhaling deeply, a low growl invading the back of his throat and then he brought his head down to kiss and brush against her moist lips with a slow and exquisite sensitivity.

" Pacey..." she moaned, her thighs trembling, tugging on his hair. "Oh! Love that! Yes..." 

Then as if suddenly impatient he gripped either side of panties at her hips and swiftly drew them down and off her legs. He immediately settled down again between her legs, honing in on her clitoris, letting his tongue dance and skit over and around it, in between dipping down to thrust his tongue inside her. She shook again with the force of another climax, shouting Pacey's name out. His hands came up to fondle her breasts, his thumbs on her nipples, mimicking the movements of his tongue against her clit.

"Can't wait, Pacey," she moaned. "Need you inside me, now." 

"Bedside table. Top drawer." He muttered, tracing his lips up her stomach now, skimming the rim of her navel. Nora fumbled with the drawer, pulled it open and scrabbled about inside, not taking her eyes off Pacey for a second. She finally managed to grab a condom…


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.  
> Pacey cooks dinner at Grams. Joey is not impressed that Nora got an invite, nor when two members of their group who turn up late, make it obvious they've become an item.

"Hey!" Joey greeted Pacey as he opened the front door of Grams house. 

"Hey yourself! And the roommate!"

"Hi Pacey! Joey assured me that my life was not in danger should I accept this invitation, so I decided to give your dubious culinary skills the benefit of the doubt."

"I am so thankful for that, Audrey. Prepare to have your socks knocked off."

"You better be good!"

"I’m sure he is, Audrey." Joey grinned. They put their coats away. 

"Where’s Jack?" Joey asked.

"Getting me a few last minute things from the store."

"Last minute things? Oh lord! You see - "

"Don’t panic, Audrey. It’s all under control." Pacey assured her as they all trooped into the kitchen. Just then, the front door slammed. Jack bounded into the kitchen and dumped the sack of goods on the table. 

"Thanks Jack, my man."

"Do you need any help?" They all asked in unison.

"Nope, I have a helper and there’s not much to do now."

"What helper?" Joey asked, puzzled. At that moment, Nora walked into the kitchen.

"You guys remember Nora, don’t you?"

Joey recovered quickly and plastered a smile on her face. "Yeah, of course. Hi, Nora." 

"So you guys can relax. I’m just wondering where Jen and Dawson are..."

 

Half an hour later, while Nora was in the lounge talking to Jack and Audrey, Joey took the opportunity to speak to Pacey in the kitchen.

"...Um, Pacey, don't take this the wrong way, but what is Nora doing here?"

"Why?" He paused in the midst of stirring the risotto on the stove.

"Well, I thought this was a dinner for us. You know, close friends"

"You mean like Jen and Jack who are barely on speaking terms and can hardly stand the sight of each other these days?"

"Well..."

"Or you and Dawson. You remember Dawson? The guy who blames you for his dad’s death?"

"Pacey! Come on, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. She’s just not one of us."

"Well that is funny, because I don’t remember Audrey going through an initiation."

"I thought you liked Audrey!"

"I do. But that’s not the point, is it?"

"Audrey is-"

"Just your roommate."

"No! She’s more than that!"

"Wow, Joey you surprise me. If I’d known you had that kind of inclination while we were going out, I’d have insisted on sampling the fringe benefits of such a friendship..."

"Not funny, Pacey. I mean she’s my friend and we’re really close."

"And Nora is my friend and we’re really close."

"That was fast work, then." Joey snapped, acidly.

"You’d know more about fast work than I would," he shot back. 

Silence.

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Joey." He sighed. "It’s my dinner party. I can invite whomever I want. And I want Nora."

"Pacey, that’s fine. I was only asking. I mean, you’re right. Audrey’s my roommate, but I want you all to get to know her better and like her."

"Which is exactly what I want for Nora." He replied, returning his attention to his risotto, missing the grimace on Joeys face. "Where on earth are Dawson and Jen? Have they forgotten or something?" He stirred the risotto a few more times. "Well, there’s not much more I can do. A few more minutes and its ready to serve.” He glanced into the oven. "Okay, the chicken is coming along nicely where are they?" He sighed, impatiently.

Joey shrugged and as Nora entered, she left. Pacey afforded a quick glance at her retreating figure before Nora gained his attention again. He saw her check the doorway before sliding her hands around his waist and up his chest. She laid her face against his back and then slid her hands back down to stroke his stomach suggestively.

"Hey, man at work here. Distractions guarantee a burnt risotto." He stilled his stirring to lean his head back. "And one ravished girlfriend."

"Oh yeah?" One hand was laid over a tentative erection and began massaging.

"Hey!" Pacey squeaked. "Mmm…to hell with the risotto!"

"Fickle man!" Nora giggled.

"I’ll show you how fickle later..."

"Ahem!" Joey cleared her throat, noting where Nora’s hand was and its hasty removal. Audrey stood by her in the doorway.

"Well,” Audrey began, “I was wondering how the risotto was going? I’m starved. Do we have to wait for Dawson and Jen?" 

"Come on, we gotta wait for Jen." Nora said. 

"Let Jen eat cake! I say we eat now!" Jack called from the lounge.

"Well, if we don’t eat it now it will turn to glue. So I guess-." He stopped at the sound of the front door slamming and the murmur of voices.

"At last." Pacey said.

Audrey and Nora stepped out of the kitchen, closely followed by Pacey, then Joey at the doorway, as Jack sauntered out of the lounge. They all came to a halt and stared at Jen, leaning against the hall wall, by the front door, covered by Dawson, kissing passionately.

Audrey covered her mouth, her gaze fixed on Joey. Pacey raised quizzical eyebrows, hiding an involuntary smile at Jack before darting a glance at Joey's immobile features; eyes wide, her mouth slightly parted in surprise.

"Good weekend?" Jack interrupted the unsuspecting pair.

Dawson and Jen jumped apart, Jen blushing to the roots of her hair.

Joey swallowed and a fierce wave of heat and anger overwhelmed her. This was just typical of him! Rejecting her for blondes! First Eve and now Jen! Just how many times was he going to humiliate her this way?

Her eyes slid briefly to Pacey. Their eyes held for a moment. He frowned, a question in his eyes. 

Joey was angry. He could see it in her eyes. Her nightmare come true again. Jen had come between her and Dawson. 

'Um, is Grams having a party of something?" Dawson queried, attempting a little humor but his voice was tense and tight. "I know it's not my birthday - " His gaze took them all in and eventually settled somewhat hesitantly on Joey. Her eyes narrowed keenly on him, ignoring Jen, before she turned on her heel, brushing past Nora, to walk back into the kitchen, with Audrey hurrying after her. Dawson heaved a sigh, Jen looked pained.

Jack cleared his throat. "Uh, I guess you guys forgot Pacey was cooking dinner for us tonight.” He could barely hide the smirk playing about his mouth.

"I think they must have had more pressing matters on their minds." Pacey quipped. Nora bit back a smile and Jack couldn't control his snigger. Dawson gave Pacey a pointed glare as he passed them to enter the lounge. As Jen made to follow him, Pacey stuck his arm out blocking her path.

"So Lindley." Pacey ventured. 

"Mmm hmm..." Nora joined in, folding her arms, and waiting for information. 

"Spill it." Jack encouraged. 

"Don't go there, guys!" Jen muttered, trying unsuccessfully to get past Pacey's arm. 

"Pacey!" 

"That must have been some festival!" He mused. "Uh, it was just a film festival, wasn't it?" 

"Whatever it was you guys were smoking down there I want some, too." Jack piped up. 

"And me." Pacey agreed. 

"Pacey, leave her alone!" Dawson snapped from inside the lounge. Jen met Pacey's amused expression, but behind it she saw the concern and acknowledged it with a wry smile. He dropped his arm and she passed through to join Dawson who was slumped on the couch.

Jack, Pacey and Nora all exchanged bemused expressions before trooping back into the kitchen. 

 

"Audrey, stop asking me that! I. Am. Fine. Ok?" 

"No, not okay. How could it be? What are you going to do?" 

"Nothing! And Dawson can do what the hell he wants!" 

"Jo..." 

"It's not the first time I’ve been dumped for a blonde, Audrey. Maybe he'll make his next move on you. Who knows!" Joey folded her arms and stared pointedly at the far wall.

"Who were the other blondes?" Audrey asked tentatively. 

"Jen and some skank called Eve." 

"Jen? Our Jen?" 

"Technically speaking she was his first girlfriend. So I suppose he didn’t really dump me for her." 

"You never..." 

"Ancient history. Or so I thought!" 

"Shall we go?" 

"No way! I have a great meal planned. You're not allowed to leave." Pacey protested, catching Audrey’s question as he, Jack and Nora trooped back into the kitchen. He saw Jen go past and upstairs with her luggage, followed by Dawson and took his chance.

"Nora, watch the risotto a sec. Dawson!"

Jen went on ahead, flicking a suspicious glance at Pacey as she trudged up the stairs. Dawson backtracked, setting his own bags down and followed Pacey back into the lounge.

"Pacey. What can I do for you? Although, I think I can guess."

Pacey doubted it. Jen was his friend and if she was under some mistaken belief that Dawson was over Joey then he intended to put her straight. Dawson and Joey were never over! So, when he had the soonest opportunity he’d speak to Jen. But right now Dawson would do. He didn’t want him breaking Jen's heart the way Joey had completely broken his own.

"Yeah?"

"You’re going to warn me off about hurting Joey. If so..."

"Nah," Pacey cut in, "maybe everything for you comes down to Joey, but not for me, man. This is about Jen and maybe you'll think I’m out of line for even asking, but this thing with you and her...is it serious?"

He probably was out of line, but he didn’t give a shit. It wasn’t like they were the best of friends anymore. They were wary around each other. Pacey had been there for Dawson when Mitch died, although he hadn't got much of a response back from Dawson. And when they were in the company of others they were fairly amiable towards each other. But Pacey was under no illusions. They were really just tolerating each other for the sake of their group of friends. He hadn't seen much of him since Mitch's funeral and while Dawson had gate-crashed his boat party, it had been because he was drunk and had been brought along by Jack and his frat buddies. While Pacey was making dinner at Grams, Dawson was an automatic invite because he was now living here. The most they’d ever indulged in since ‘that spring’ was chit-chat. Now, Pacey was going to go in deeper. As expected Dawson didn’t take long to show his animosity.

"I think that’s between me and Jen. And I resent your tone. Jen doesn’t need you to save her from me."

"I’m not trying to insult you, Dawson. I’m just concerned."

"Don’t be. We’re fine." His voice was cold and clipped, mirroring the expression in his eyes. "This is about you and your ‘white knight complex.’ You just can’t help it, can you? Find some other damsel in distress, Pacey."

"No, this is about you and your predilection for using other women to push Joey away for whatever the latest lame reason is." Pacey felt his composure slipping fast. "Thing is Dawson, you always end up hurting your latest girlfriend when you remember that it's Joey you really want."

"Pacey, if you have any hope of trying to hold on to the fragile thread that is our friendship then I advise you to stop right there. Who I choose to see is my business - in this case, mine and Jen's business."

"Jen is someone I care about and I don't want her getting hurt by you the same way you hurt Gretchen."

"What has your sister got to do with this?" 

"You had something good with her, but you couldn’t get Joey out of your head. Gretchen called it quits because she knew she couldn’t compete with your childhood love!"

"What is it about you, Pacey? You poke your nose into my relationship with Joey and now you’re trying to do the same with Jen. Just get out of my face, Pacey. Another word and...."

"And what?" 

Dawson merely glared at him. A pregnant pause followed. 

"You never did let it go, did you?" Pacey said.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I’m talking about." 

"What’s going on here?" Jen tripped down the stairs to join them.

"Jen, I’m going to wash up." Dawson strode past them both without a second look. Jen turned to Pacey, her brow furrowed.

"You’ve upset him." She accused. Pacey laughed.

"Yeah, that’s never been a hard thing to do, Jen. I’m the bad guy. Always have been. Might as well live up to it, right?"

"Pacey..."

"Why would you want to go back there, Jen? Don’t you..."

"Pacey, stay out of this."

"Jen..."

"Pacey, I don’t want to hear another word out of you about this."

"I’m not allowed to be concerned?"

"Yes, quietly concerned. Okay? I acknowledge that much. And I appreciate it, but keep it to yourself, okay? Dawson and I are together now and we’re going to see where it goes." 

"Dawson…Joey…" he trailed off.

"Pace, my eyes are wide open." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "What’s happened to dinner? I’m starving."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.  
> Dinner at Grams is an awkward affair. Dawson and Joey clear the air. Pacey feels guilty.

Dinner was a stilted affair. Joey burned with a sense of injustice and anger every time she looked at Dawson. His attempts to draw her into conversation resulted in her cold, polite responses. But when she furtively looked at Jen, she was surprised when the expected rise of resentment didn’t materialize. Despite their hand holding beneath the table and the not so secret glances between them, Joey couldn't seem to dredge up any malice. It was Dawson who seemed the target of her censure. But that used to be Jen. At one time or another hadn't Jen always been a thorn in her side? And now she was dating Dawson. But then Jen always had been a little bit in love with Dawson, hadn't she? Or so Joey had always secretly thought. And even when she’d lost him the first time round, she’d always remained a good friend to him - better than Joey herself in some instances. She couldn't deny this. Jen had been, no, still was a good friend to her. How could she blame her? A few years ago, Jen had mistakenly let Dawson go and realized her mistake too late, her grandfather had died and she hadn't been getting on with Grams. She must have felt really isolated to strike up a friendship with the witchy Abby and then Abby had died and Grams fell out with Jen and threw her out of the house. Joey felt a small sense of shame well up inside her. She hadn't been there for Jen even once through all of that and yet Jen had always bent over backwards to try and be her friend - okay, apart from trying to steal Dawson back from her in 10th grade of course. That had been during her downward spiral that year, though. 

It didn’t stop Joey from feeling embarrassed that Dawson’s and Jen’s relationship had been sprung on her in front of their mutual friends. Though, Joey was in no mood to think of them as friends throughout the course of the meal.

The sympathetic glances between Nora and Jen had annoyed her, she felt like thumping Jack, who could barely hide his amusement at the situation despite the censure in his eyes for Jen. Added to her irritation had been Audrey’s pity laden looks at her and her whispering in her ear every five minutes to ask if she was okay. And to top it all there’d been Pacey and Nora whispering to each other, too, at every opportunity. As if Joey couldn’t guess that instead of sweet nothings it was probably low down dirty nothings being whispered.

She didn’t know how she got through it. But she did. Without tears or tantrums or rudeness. She’d managed to force her food down and finally dessert was over. Joey excused herself from the table saying she had to eat and run, carrying her plate into the kitchen. She didn’t realize that Dawson had followed her in until she heard the kitchen door close behind her. She set her plate down in the sink and turned to face him. She tried for nonchalance.

"Well, that’s a couple of hours of my life Id like back."

"It wasn’t planed."

"So you’ve finally lost it, then?" Dawson didn’t answer, but his expression spoke volumes. Joey pursed her lips together, nodding knowingly. "Congratulations. You’re no longer a virgin."

"I never set out to deliberately hurt you, Joey."

"Hurt? Why should I be hurt? My getting hurt would imply that you and I had something to begin with that would entitle me to feel hurt that you tossed it aside to get your leg over with Jen!" The nonchalance didn’t last long.

"Joey!"

"But as you’ve made it quite clear, since your dad died, that you’re no longer interested in me, and that we have nothing together now, therefore I have nothing to be hurt over, have I?"

"Jo..."

"And you know what, Dawson?" She interrupted again as if the realization had suddenly hit her. "It always ends like this. We never seem able to get it together, do we? We’ve always allowed things or people to get in the way, Eve, Jen, a family death or imprisonment. Maybe we’re just not meant to be, Dawson. Maybe we never were. I keep wondering why we’re always trying to fight against that. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Jo, I know right now I’m not making much sense to you. What with dropping out of USC primarily because of you and now dating Jen, but there will never be nothing between you and I. But right now I need to be someplace else and…and I’m not sure if I can come back to you..."

"I hope you and Jen will be very happy, Dawson." Joey turned to go.

"Jo! Joey, wait!"

"Dawson, it’s okay. I understand." She turned back to him. "Your father’s death has somehow displaced you, changed your feelings and emotions and wants about certain things in your life. One of those things being our relationship. I get it. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I didn’t feel a little hurt and angry at this turn of events. We were right on the cusp of beginning a relationship. Then your father died and just like that your feelings about me changed. You didn’t want my sympathy or support. You didn’t want me anywhere near you. I can’t pretend that I really understand the reason why, but I do understand that everybody deals with bereavement in a different way, so that I do get. Truly. Just realize one thing, though. You’re not the only one who’s been re-evaluating certain emotions, expectations and relationships in their life. It’s never going to be the same again, Dawson. I think I can say that with some degree of confidence. Never." 

When he simply stood there, helplessly looking at her she flashed a quick, brittle smile and left him alone in the kitchen.

Back in the dining room, Jen, Pacey and Nora were murmuring together in one corner of the room. Audrey and Jack were still sat at the table talking. They all stopped what they were doing to look as Joey and then Dawson came out of the kitchen. Dawson eased awkwardly past Joey to join Jen, at which point Pacey wandered over to her.

"Nora and I are going to make a move now." A pause. "Not exactly a scintillating evening, huh? And not exactly the best of times to make my culinary debut."

"The food was great, Pacey. It’s the company that sucked!"

"Thank you!"

"You know what I mean."

"Uh, yeah. Well..."

"I should be used to it, shouldn’t I?" No need to guess what she was talking about.

"You and Dawson have always had a crazy-assed relationship, Jo." She saw him glance over to Nora and she felt the twinge of jealously, like a knife twisting in her gut. Was he that much in a hurry to get home and fuck Nora? Like Dawson was now probably in a hurry to get the house empty before Grams came back so he could fuck Jen on the dinner table. Everyone was having a fine, fucking time, except her!

"Pacey, can I talk to you?" 

Oh, fuck! Pacey groaned inwardly and felt a heel for doing so, but he didn’t want to conduct a post mortem on tonight’s events. He didn’t want to be Joey's venting board. He didn’t want to hear Joey lament on about how Dawson had hurt her yet again. Damn! All he wanted to do right now was go home with Nora, and relax and unwind after the tense evening they’d all had. Joey took his sleeve and he followed her out into the hall. 

"Can you make any sense of this? I mean, Jen!"

"What’s wrong with Jen?"

"Nothing! But, one minute Dawson and I are together and the next he’s with Jen."

Pacey sighed heavily, earning a heavy frown from Joey.

"What?"

"Haven’t you guys figured out by now that you suck as soul mates? It was old and boring by the time twelfth grade rolled around. I can’t believe you guys are still playing this game." Joey stared at Pacey. "What?" He said.

"Could you make your feelings any clearer?" Trying to cover her hurt and surprise.

"You take turns to push each other away. You’re a smart girl, Jo. Don’t you ever get tired of it?" Joey gaped at him. "You know, I told Dawson that once. For all your transcendent bond, despite your precious history together, at the first sign of crisis, you guys never fail to drop each other like hot bricks."

"That’s...that’s..." 

"What? Not true? Think about it, Jo."

"I take it you and Dawson weren’t friends at the time that was said?"

"You could say that and we haven’t really been friends since." He shot her a loaded, meaningful look. 

"Pacey? You ready to go?" Nora peered around the door into the hallway, noting the look of consternation on Joey’s face and Paceys strained features.

"Give me a sec, Nora."

"Sure." She gave Joey a sidelong glance before going back inside.

"Thanks for the friendly advice, Pacey." Her voice was low and heavy with hurt.

"Jo, you’re strong and smart and beautiful. You’re in Boston – in Worthington. You’ve gained the achievements you deserve for all the hard work you’ve done. Enjoy your rewards. Move forward. Stop running in place. It’s a lesson I learned myself not so long ago and I’m all the happier for it."

"Pacey, you..."

"Jo, I’m sorry," he brushed her arms briefly with his hands," I’ve got to go. Nora’s waiting." He left Joey standing there. She was still there a few minutes later when Jen approached her. 

"Hey."

"Hey. Look, Jen. I’m really not in the mood to go over this with you." Jen opened her mouth to speak, but Joey wouldn’t let her. "Believe me, it’s not about you. Honestly." Joey added at Jen’s disbelieving look. 

"How can I believe that? Dawson has always been between us, Joey."

Joey squared her shoulders and pinned an earnest look on Jen. "Not anymore. I’m not happy about you and Dawson being together Jen, but the reasons for that are between me and Dawson, and literally nothing to do with you. And what’s more, I’m already wondering what the fuss is all about."

"Still there’s always been this ongoing thing between you and Dawson. I was wary about..."

"Jen, you don’t have to explain. You and Dawson can do what you want. I’m well out of it." Joey gave Jen a small smile as she reached for her coat on the coat rack in the corner of the hall. She folded it over her arm.

"I’m kind of bemused. I don’t know what to say"

"Jen? I haven’t been a very good friend to you, have I?" She ploughed on without pause. "Nothing like the support that Dawson or even Jack has been for you over the years. I know things are a bit strained between you and Jack, right now, but that won’t last. Anyway, what I’m trying to say in my own funny way is, I really do care about you and I do see you as my friend, not an enemy."

"Joey..." Jens eyes filled with tears as she moved in for a hug and Joey felt her own welling up. "Actually, Jack and I are okay now. We had a little chat. But you..."

"Don’t worry about me." Joey said. "Now let me find Audrey. I’m really ready to leave right now..."

 

...Pacey tried hard to concentrate on Nora’s conversation on their way home, but he failed miserably. He kept thinking back to Joey’s stricken face as he took pot shots at her. Well, what did she want from him, anyway? Pacey bit back a heavy sigh and smiled vaguely, in reply to a completely anonymous question Nora asked him. He knew what Joey wanted. She wanted him to continue being the good buddy he’d been since they'd met up again. The buddy he’d told her last year that he couldn't be to her. Had she forgotten that? Obviously. Well, despite what he’d said he was her friend again and when she needed to sound off on him about Dawson he was there for her. He would nod here and there, say the right thing in the right place and reassure her. What more did she want, for goodness sake! Blood? Wasn't it enough that he’d practically turned cheerleader for them both? Even though his friendship with Dawson was tenuous at best? Could she really be so stupid as to think that he’d be over the moon that she was back with Dawson? Did she remember nothing from last year? He’d told her before, that for a bright girl she was really daft. And it still rang true. Nora was tugging at his arm and he assured her he was listening to what she was saying. What the hell was she saying?

He didn’t want to admit it, even to himself, but a small, secret part of him seethed with a quiet satisfaction that Dawson seemed to have dumped Joey - and for Jen to boot. The dance had started all over again and as usual it had come to a temporary halt. Oh, he had no doubt it was temporary. Any girlfriend or boyfriend these two hooked up with were just stopgaps until Dawson and Joey decided to finally get together for real. 

 

Joey cried silently as she lay in her bed that night. Her mind crowded with painful thoughts. Dawson had effectively wiped her out of his life. He hadn’t wanted her support or company after his father’s death. He’d even blamed her for it at one point. Okay, he might have apologized later, taken it back, but on some level he had blamed her. I wanted him to stay in Boston, but I didn’t ask him to, she thought despairingly. I didn’t ask him to drop out of film school for me. Wasn’t it enough that he’d already told her he didn’t feel the same way about her anymore? Did he have to rub it in by sleeping with Jen? Starting a relationship with Jen, at the expense of erasing his relationship with her? Well, she got the message. Loud and clear. But that wasn’t even the worst of it. Another fat tear rolled over the bridge of her nose and dripped onto her pillow. She sniffed.

"Joey? You okay?" Audrey whispered across the room from her bed.

"I’m fine."

"Do you need me, bunny?" Audrey sat up in bed.

"No, please, Audrey. Go to sleep." Her voice was thick.

"You told me a lot of things about Dawson, Joey, but you never said he could be a first class jerk!" She slumped back onto her bed. Joey wasn’t ready to cry on her shoulder, yet. She’d give her a little more space.

Joey also hadn’t told Audrey that more than anything else she felt a sense of relief that Dawson had cut her loose. Yes, it did hurt that he’d rejected her, but she was surprised by just how little. In fact, she was angry more than anything else because of the way he chose to do it and how everyone expected her to react in a certain way. But that small part of her that felt a sense of relief also meant she didn’t have to feel so guilty about her conflicting feelings for Pacey.  
Fresh tears welled in her eyes, for, in reality, what hurt her most tonight was Pacey’s lack of sympathy and support, Pacey’s impatience and exasperation, and his preoccupation with Nora. He had always been one of her biggest supporters. Always encouraging her, always unstinting in his admiration of her and her abilities. But tonight he could hardly wait to leave with Nora after that disastrous dinner and Joey’s heart twisted in her chest at the thought of what they were doing together right now. It only served to remind her of what she was missing. Of what she had lost. So, she hadn’t been the perfect girlfriend last year, but she had loved Pacey. Still loved Pacey? She pushed the question away. He was heavily engrossed with Nora now. What else could she do now but try to get on with her own life? Pacey was right. It was something she had already started to realize. She and Dawson did suck as soul mates. She had to stop running in place. She had to move on.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.  
> Audrey thinks Professor Wilder is interested in Joey. Joey is irritated with Pacey and Nora and lets loose in an unexpected way.

Okay, so a few weeks ago she’d resigned herself to the fact that Pacey was truly lost to her, that he was happy with someone else. But it was really hard pretending to herself that she didn’t care what he did, especially with Nora. So, she’d decided to throw herself into schoolwork and the Rose Lazare project that her English professor had picked her and a few other students for.

And she’d been glad to go to go home to Capeside for spring break, except, that hadn’t gone any better. She’d ended up having to get a lift back from Capeside to Boston with Pacey and Nora today. And now Audrey was ragging on her. So much so, that she was in danger of braining her if she called her uptight and anal for the hundredth time. What Audrey considered an even greater crime was the fact that Joey was seriously interested in the project and not her English teacher, Professor Wilder, who all the female students were wetting their panties over.

"Then there was that time you were alone again with the Professor in his house and nothing happened! Joey I despair of you, sometimes. Give me five minutes with that dreamboat."

"Audrey, I admit he’s kinda cute-."

"Duh! All kinds of cute!"

"Whatever."

"He likes you, Jo. He always rigs it so you’re the last to leave and there was that hug earlier today."

"I was just happy about my grades." 

"Yeah, that’s another thing, I can’t believe you cut your break short to come back and check your grades!"

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! I know you! Lucky for you Pacey and Nora were coming back to Boston. Isn’t it cute he brought her home to meet his folks?"

"I don’t think it was specifically to meet his folks, Audrey." 

Joey didn’t want to recall that uncomfortable ride home from Capeside. The easy banter and flirting between Pacey and Nora had been teeth-clenchingly uncomfortable for her. But she hadn’t had much choice. Either stay in Capeside and put up with her sister Bessie constantly moaning at her about whether she was okay with Dawson and Jen or get a lift with Pacey and Nora so she could get away and check her grades. Pacey had passed by the B&B to ask her if she wanted a lift back up to Boston. His new car, given to him by his father no less, had been a nice surprise. The fact that she’d have to share the journey with Nora as well, was not.

"Well..."

"And aren’t you glad I got a lift with Pacey and he dropped me here? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have found out from him that his workplace needed a new waitress. You are Civilizations new waitress, where you can now conduct inappropriate workplace flirtations with your boss."

"Hmm, okay I’ll give you that."

"Anyway, I believe we were discussing Professor Wilder..." Which was eminently preferable to discussing Pacey and Nora.

"Yes.” Audrey didn’t note anything amiss and latched back onto their original discussion. "Didn’t you say he held on a little too long, during that embrace, for what should be appropriate between a teacher and a student?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I deliberately embellished my story to excite your predilection for juicy gossip. And so you’d get off my back for being anal!"

"Liar! He so wants you! And I think you want him, too!"

"Audrey, shut up!"

"You are seriously uptight! So you know what we’re going to do?"

"What?"

"Go out and have some fun. No! I am not taking no for an answer. I got a new job and you got four A grades and you won’t even come out to celebrate! Haven’t you ever done anything spontaneous in your life, Joey?"

"Um..."

"I didn’t think so." 

"Hey! I have, actually!"

"Uh, uh! No more embellishing! Come on, let’s get ready! And let’s make a night of it."

 

**************

Audrey was gushing over the cute bass guitarist up on stage. Joey squinted at him, and then turned to her friend.

"Audrey, not that I’m sorry to burst your bubble of lust, but that cute as a lollipop hunk, happens to be Charlie." 

"Charlie?" 

"Yes, Charlie. The same Charlie who cheated on Jen and Nora. The same Charlie who had to run around the halls buck naked due to his foolish ménage a trois fantasizes." 

"Oh." Audrey pouted with obvious disappointment. "Maybe, he's learnt his lesson now?" 

"I seriously have my doubts" 

 

Joey was sick of this! They’d been here an hour. Audrey was flitting from boy to boy, flirting like crazy. She’d already jumped on stage and taken over the singing vocals and was amazing, but it so happened that Pacey was at the bar tonight, too, with Nora. They were at this moment, canoodling in a corner. Okay, this was a very popular student hangout, but why did they have to be here tonight? Amazingly, on top of that, she’d already had to blow Charlie off twice tonight. He thought she’d been staring up at him on stage because she fancied him! He’d insisted he was a changed man and that she should give him a chance to redeem himself and had then had the nerve to imply she was uptight when she refused to fall into the palm of his hand like a ripe plum. She was sick of Pacey and Nora. She was sick of being labeled boring. Well, if Audrey could do it, so could she.

 

"What the hell-!" Pacey couldn’t believe his eyes. Joey was on stage, singing and looking sexy as hell. He turned goggle-eyed to Audrey, at his table, who did the same to him. They stood and threaded through the crowd, moving a little closer to the stage, Nora following closely behind.

"Isn’t she great? It’s about time she let loose a little." Audrey crowed, ecstatically.

"Well, I’d rather it wasn’t with scumbag Charlie’s band. But it’s been a long time since I last saw Joey singing on stage." She’d looked just as gorgeous back then, too, he thought. 

"What? You mean she’s done this before?" Audrey shook her head in amazement. Pacey grabbed Nora’s hand as he and Audrey sang along. Audrey herself had already had her own impromptu solo with the band earlier that night and had an excellent voice and although Joey’s voice wasn’t as strong as Audrey’s, it had a girlish, coquettish quality to it. Joey was flinging her hair about and strutting about the stage, enjoying herself immensely. When she finished the crowd in the bar went wild. Her friends waited impatiently for her to come down to them. At least Pacey and Audrey did. Nora’s lack of enthusiasm went amiss.

Eventually, Joey joined them, all breathless, her eyes bright with exhilaration. Audrey hugged her.

"That was fantastic Joey! You were great!"

Joey laughed, tossing a sly glance at Charlie on stage, who was already giving her the eye. She squinted, malevolently at him. He raised his eyebrows at her and turned away, a secret smile on his lips. Joey failed to notice Pacey intercept the look with a faint frown. Nora discreetly noted his interception.

Joey decided she would personally thump Charlie, if he dared breathe a word of what had just happened back stage after her singing stint. In a mad moment of exhilaration, she had kissed him. She had no idea what her friends, especially Jen, would make of that little gem if they found out. This was the guy after-all, who had cheated on her and Nora, and the last impression she wanted to give him was that she was interested in him. But at least no one was going to call her boring or uptight again. Not Audrey, and certainly not Charlie. She’d disproved that point tonight.

"What brought that on, Potter?" Pacey asked. 

"Audrey was giving me hard time about being a bore!"

"I take it all back!"

"I should think so, too! That was such a rush! I could get used to that!" Joey grabbed Pacey’s arm in her excitement.

"What do you do for an encore, huh?" His arm tensed under her hands and after a second he moved away. "I think the girl deserves a drink after that performance? Audrey?"

"Yep! I’ll have one, too. Wait for me."

"Nothing for me, Pacey." Nora called after them, but glad, in a way, that she was left alone with Joey.

"You were great up there! I didn’t know you could sing." 

"Thanks! Neither did I! Not like that, anyway." She casually surveyed the crowd.

"Audrey’s brilliant, too. She is something else, isn't she?" Nora regained her attention.

"I know. Think about it, I have to live with her." 

"That must be some roller-coaster ride." 

"She is fun." Joey nodded, trying to keep her smile intact. It was always an effort talking to Nora. The thought of her and Pacey together grated on her nerves. There was an awkward silence, with Joey looking anywhere but at Nora. But Nora watched Joey’s face carefully until Joey met her gaze directly and raised her eyebrows quizzically.

"We’re never going to be friends, Joey." Nora said, softly, but there was a steely glint in her eye.

"W-what?" Joey stumbled, caught off guard. "Why?"

"We love the same man too much." She saw Joeys eyes widen and flash with dislike before the shutters came down.

"Look, Nora..."

"You want him back, but I’ve no intention of letting him go." Nora pushed on.

"You’re crazy! Pacey and I are over-"

"That’s right. You had your chance." 

"Hey! He left me and..."

"And the reason why will always be between you. You’ll never be able to give him all of your heart, whereas I come without the soul mate baggage." 

What? Pacey had discussed her with Nora? Joey couldn’t believe it.

"You have no right to talk to me that way! I haven’t tried to come between you..."

"But I can see it in your face, Joey. Every time you look at him, look at us. It’s funny because under other circumstances we’d probably get along really well, but I know you don’t like me and I know the reason is Pacey." She forestalled Joey’s reply and continued. "You may not have the guts to admit it..."

"I don’t want to hear this and I refuse to discuss this with you." Joey turned her back.

"I’m not trying to cause friction."

Joey turned back, rounded on her fiercely. "You could have fooled me!" she spat.

"I’m just letting you know the state of play. He’s happy and that’s a big change from last year, apparently."

Joey glared at her with open hostility.

"Don’t get too complacent, Nora. You think I have a predilection for breaking hearts? Be careful. I might just add yours to my list when I take Pacey back." Joey turned on her heel, ready to stalk away.

"I did hear you could be a first class bitch."

Joey turned slowly to smile sweetly at Nora. "Dig down deep for that little nugget of fear you try to hide from and ask yourself. Do you really, I mean, really believe it’s over between Pacey and I? We’re still very close, you know." Nora merely eyed her evenly, refusing to comment on what was in actual fact, her worse fear.

"Yeah,” Joey continued, “I can be a first class bitch. So don’t push me." Pacey’s appearance forestalled any further talk between the girls. He dropped an arm around each of their shoulders.

"How are my two favorite girls?" 

Joey shoved at him. "You wouldn’t say that if Audrey were here."

"Which I am!" Audrey popped up beside Joey, handing her a drink. "That was amazing Joey! I never knew you had it in you! Eh, Pacey?"

"Joey can be full of surprises, Audrey."

"Pacey more than anyone could tell you that!" Joey laughed, and her eyes flicked back to Nora, who still stood within the circle of Pacey’s arms. Neither Audrey nor Pacey seemed to sense the thick tension between the two girls.

"Here’s to rock star Joey!" Audrey toasted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5. (Explicit language)  
> Pacey and Joey have a big blow up over Professor Wilder.

A couple of weeks later Audrey and Joey were in their dorm room. Joey was trying to study, as usual, while Audrey babbled on about her favorite subject of the moment Joey’s love life...

"Okay, shall I go on about Nice Guy, instead, then?"

"His name is Elliot. You should at least know that since you nearly slept with him the night we went to that Boston Bay party!"

"We didn’t even get to first base, missy, because as you now know he couldn’t stop talking about you! So, what’s going on with Elliot, then?"

"Nothing. We’ve studied together a couple of times. We’re just getting to know each other. That’s all."

"No kissy kissy yet, then?"

"Sorry to disappoint."

Audrey sighed dramatically. "I despair of you, Joey. Not even a smooch with the Nice Guy or anything remotely juicy concerning the professor. What am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing. But I have a suggestion for you. Why don’t you stop bending my ear about these guys? That would be nice." 

"What’s nice is that at least all this male attention is keeping your mind off Dawson."

"I don’t need to keep my mind off him. He’s not on my mind. Full stop. I hear snippets about him here and there from Jen. Like he’s back in film school now. Here in Boston, of course. And I’m happy for him."

"Yeah, right."

"No, seriously, Audrey. I’m completely over him."

"It’s a shame he didn’t get an eyeful of rock star Joey. Maybe then he’d be sorry he dumped you the way he did."

"I don’t care anymore." 

Audrey came and rested her hands on Joey’s shoulders. "I’m worried about you, bunny. I mean we had a great time the other night, but you’re still…"

"Still what?"

"I don’t know. Sad, I guess. There’s something a little melancholic about you. And obviously having the hot professor and the sweet Nice Guy drooling after you isn’t making much of a difference."   
Joey patted one of Audrey’s hands and gave her a quick smile. "Don’t worry about me, Audrey. I’m fine."

"If it isn’t anything to do with Dawson, then what is it about?"

"Um, shouldn’t you be getting ready for work? Pacey will be here soon to give you a lift."

"Yeah, but perking up your social life and being a sympathetic shoulder to cry on is more important. Pacey can tell Danny I’m sick."

"I don’t need a shoulder to cry on. I just want to get this studying done."

"You do need perking up, though. Let’s go out. Just you and me. Well make it a girly night out."

"Audrey, you can’t be a party girl all the time you know." 

"Oh, come on, Joey. Live a little!"

"Not tonight, Audrey."

"Oh, come on, Joey!" 

"I can’t. I’m stuck."

"Why?"

"Well,” she began, her reluctance to tell obvious, “I kind of got myself into a bit of a dilemma. Elliot asked me out and..."

"Whoo hoo! Is that what’s bothering you? You sly bitch! You weren’t going to tell me, were you? Joey! I’m your bestest roommate!"

"You’re my only roommate! And I’ve only just started." 

"There’s more? Give it up, Potter!"

"Well, Professor Wilder…"

"Has he asked you out, too? Oh my!"

"Not like that! Calm down, Audrey! He’s invited all of the Rose Lazare students out to dinner because the project’s finally finished."

"Oh."

"Both dates are for tonight!

"Joey, you little wench!" 

Joey had to laugh! Audrey did have a way of pulling her out of the doldrums. She was wrong about why she was a little down, but the secret about that was all her own.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don’t want to hurt Elliot’s feelings."

"But the professor is hot and even if you are going as a group, you’d have way more fun drooling over him."

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"I’ll get it," Audrey said as she opened the door, giving Pacey a quick grin as he entered, "seeing as you’re too busy alternating between studying and chewing your lip in consternation!" She closed the door.

"I am studying. Full stop. I’ve been really busy with this project." Joey denied, indignantly. Since that night at the bar a couple of weeks ago, she hadn’t seen Pacey either and she told her herself she was glad. Just seeing him now reminded her of her fight with Nora and her blood riled up at the memory.

"The project is finished now, Joey." Audrey reminded her.

"Why would Joey be chewing her lip in consternation?"

"Never mind!" Joey quickly said, hoping to divert the topic of conversation. 

"Hey, Pacey, sorry to hear about you losing the boat. Audrey mentioned it." 

"Yeah, but she wasn’t really mine, as you know. I had to give her back sometime."

"Do you regret not taking up the dean’s offer to go cruising again?"

"Sometimes, but not much. I had great reasons for staying in Boston. My friends are here, my girlfriend. I like my job and I have a great boss. Okay, I lose the boat as my living quarters, but that’s a minor downside."

"Have you found somewhere to live yet?" Joey asked.

"He’s still sleeping at the restaurant." Audrey chimed in. "It’s not bad there you know. Nice decor."

"Uh, yeah, I’m still living on Danny’s charity." Pacey laughed. "It’s not so bad staying there, though. Not that I want to get used to it!" 

Nora’s dorm room was cozy, though he didn’t make a habit of staying there. It wasn’t often they had it to themselves.

"What about Gram’s place?" Audrey suggested.

"Hmm, too crowded." Pacey quickly cut down that idea. 

"Jack’s living in the frat house now though, isn’t he?"

"She still has Jen and Dawson, though."

"Well, whenever you feel like a change you can have the floor here. Can’t he, Jo?"

"Uh…"

"Nah, I’m a light sleeper. I’m surprised you manage to sleep through Joey’s snoring. What do you use? Ear plugs?"

"Very funny, Pace. Now if you don’t mind. I’ve got to get through this. Go to work!"

"We can’t go yet. Pacey can help us with your dilemma."

"What dilemma?"

"Nothing!" Joey insisted.

"She’s so modest this girl. You wouldn’t think she has two guys falling over themselves to drool at her feet." Audrey ignored Joey’s heavy sigh.

"Look," she was more than irritated now. This was getting out of hand. Audrey was blowing it way out of proportion and she didn’t want Pacey knowing anything about her life. He was too busy with Nora to wonder if she was even alive! 

"Who are the lucky guys?" Pacey asked, also ignoring her.

"Well, there’s a boy in her English class. I call him Nice Guy, because that’s what he is. Probably good boyfriend potential, you know, maybe a little on the boring side, but at least he’s her own age."

"I’m guessing the other candidate is a potential sugar daddy." Pacey mused. "Joey, you do realize what kind of tricks you’d have to perform for a sugar daddy, right?"

"Yeah, funny, Pacey." Her expression said otherwise.

"Who is this guy anyway?"

"It doesn’t -"

"Well, put it this way," Audrey interrupted Joey, "he’s gorgeous and he grades her papers."

"Huh?" Pacey stared, blankly at Audrey and then Joey, not quite believing his ears. 

"Professor Wilder!"

Pacey frowned, darkly at Joey. "What?" He barked, and Audrey turned to gape at him.

"Um, Pacey, you’re kinda ruining the light-hearted vibe we have going here."

"A teacher? Joey isn’t that stupid!"

"My English professor to be precise." Joey emphasized, pointedly, a battle glint in her eye. She was sick of him! Sick of wanting him and having to see him with Nora. Nora, the girlfriend who dared to warn her off! He’d even talked to Nora about their relationship! And who the hell did he think he was giving an opinion on her life when she’d hardly seen hide nor hair of him for weeks? "You’d know all about that, remember? Does the phrase ‘been there, done that’ mean anything to you?" Her voice started to rise. "So don’t try to come over all holier than thou with me!"

"Whoa! Stop! Time out! Pacey you had an affair with your English professor?" Audrey squawked. "Hey wait, you’re not in college. Oh my...!" She clapped a hand over her mouth.

"That’s right, Audrey," Pacey turned to her, "I screwed my English teacher in tenth grade,” he turned back to Joey, "so I’m speaking from experience here."

Joey stood, drawing herself up to her full height. "So what?"

"So what?" He repeated, incredulously. "I can’t believe you’d be so stupid as..."

"Who are you calling stupid? You, the boy who bragged about his jailbait affair in the boy’s toilets!"

"I wasn’t bragging! Someone overheard me talking to Dawson." Joey raised her eyebrows disbelievingly.

"Do you even remember the fallout from that soporific episode in my life? Do you remember how badly I got hurt? How it all ended?"

"Yeah, badly enough for you to try for seconds when she came back into town."

"Fuck you, Joey!" Both Audrey and Joey’s mouths fell open. He turned and strode to the door, dragged a hand through his hair, before marching back. 

"Are you prepared to ruin not only his career and reputation, but yours too? Would you so easily throw away everything you’ve worked so hard for to get yourself here in the first place? And what does it say about him? A guy in his position trying to get into one of his students pants."

"I don’t need a lecture from you!" Joey flashed.

Pacey laughed, shaking his head. "And I thought you were smart."

"Okay, guys, come on. Calm down This has gone on long enough." Audrey held her hands up. She pointed at Joey. "On second thoughts, Joey, I think maybe you should go for Nice Guy." 

Pacey swiveled and strode over to the door, wrenching it open. 

"I agree with Audrey. I think maybe you should go for Nice Guy. Play it safe like you usually do." He slammed out of the room, leaving a stunned, blanket of silence behind him for long seconds.

"What the hell was all that about?" Audrey finally broke the silence. 

No answer.

"I guess I won’t be going to work after all." She eyed Joey carefully. She was still stood there, flushed, arms crossed against a heaving chest, an odd expression on her face. She finally glanced at Audrey and her face crumpled. She slumped back onto her bed, covering her hands with her face.

Audrey sat beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder, curiosity and concern warring on her face.

"Joey?"

"How could he be so horrible to me?" Joey whispered, hoarsely into her hands, following it with a hefty sniff.

"It did get a bit nasty, didn’t it? Joey?" Audrey hesitated. "I think I know why you’re so adamant about being completely over Dawson, now, and this might sound like a really dumb question, but are-are you still in love with Pacey?"

"No!" Joey cried in dismay, dropping her hands to stare aghast at Audrey. "No." She repeated, less forcefully. "I-I don’t know." This time a little mournfully. They stared at each other. "I think maybe I am." She barely whispered.

"Wow."

"Wow? There’s nothing wow about this."

"Joey, help me out here a little because I’m struggling to take all of this in. Ever since I met you you’ve been bleating on and I mean that in the nicest way, of course, on and on about Dawson. Dawson this, Dawson that. Dawson is the only boy I’ve ever, blah, blah, etc, and now-wham! Pacey!" Joey hung her head.

"Whatever you two had together, it was obviously quite serious. Why did you never tell me?" She asked gently.

"Water under the bridge." Joey shrugged looking away out of the window.

"Um, obviously it isn’t"

"Oh yes, it is. I guess Jack and Jen didn’t give you all the details in that potted history of my love life." She sighed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Pacey may not have been my first boyfriend, but he was the first guy I ever slept with. Well, the only one so far."

"I guess it’s just that I’d always assumed that you and Dawson had at least done it and that he’d been your first."

"Audrey, I myself had always envisioned that Dawson would be my first. Instead, it ended up being my mortal enemy, Pacey. Pacey! If someone had told me that years ago I'd have given them a swift thump upside the head and a mouthful of obscenities."

"So?"

"What?"

"You’ve never really talked about your relationship with Pacey."

"I tried to never think about it. I wouldn’t know where to start!" Joey wiped her eyes again. 

"I find the beginning is always a good place!" Audrey smiled, encouragingly at her, slipping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a quick hug.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.  
> Joey licks her wounds, and relates her history with Pacey to Audrey.

"Pacey and I have always had a very strong hate/hate relationship."

"Don’t you mean love/hate?" Audrey interrupted.

"No, hate/hate. I hated him and he hated me. That’s how we played it. That’s what I pretty much believed despite the odd few times where in little ways we were there for each other. Later, I realized that underneath it all we actually liked and had a mutual respect for each other something we’d never admit to each other, locked into our roles as bantering adversaries as we were." Joey gave a short laugh, and then sniffed. "He thought I was an uptight bitch, too prudish for my own good."

"Hmm, I wonder how he got an idea like that!" Joey shot an evil-eyed glance at Audrey, who parried it with a cheesy, full wattage grin. 

"And I thought he was a horny, annoying thorn in my side. I mean horny as in sex-mad. We tolerated each other because of our mutual friend, Dawson."

"So Pacey’s known you as long as Dawson has?"

"Yes, he has actually." Joey said with a little wonderment coloring her voice. "I’ve always thought of Dawson as my childhood friend, but Pacey was there all along too. Not to the same depth as Dawson, but, you know"

"So how did all this hate turn to love?"

"Dawson and I had a falling out in tenth grade and I didn’t see him all summer as he went to Philadelphia with his mom. I..." 

"Why?"

"Uh, he kinda forced me to turn my drug-dealing dad into the police."

"Oh-kay." Audrey blinked, with wide-eyed bemusement.

"I’d forgiven him by the time he came back, but by then he’d already hooked up with the blonde and sexy Eve. Apparently, he loved me, but couldn’t risk getting his heart hurt by me again." Joey slid off the bed and paced restlessly. "He asked Pacey to keep an eye on me. The worst person he could have asked in my opinion."

"Ah, so that’s how it started."

"Yes, that’s how it started. I remember he came to me where I was sitting at the dock. I hated that he had to see me crying and I just knew Dawson had told him about my humiliating attempt to seduce him to get him back. We kind of talked a little and I ended up crying on Pacey’s shoulder."

"Aww, Joey." Audrey whispered. Joey wandered over to the window and stared out, an air of melancholy surrounding her.

"Pacey said that it was a new year and that we might actually end up being friends. Little did we know..." She turned from the window, pushing back a lock of hair, to look at Audrey. "But I felt rejected and humiliated by Dawson. It didn’t help for me and the entire school to catch him and Eve making out on the stage behind the screen at a pep rally."

"Dawson?"

"Yep. That same night Pacey found out that Andie, his girlfriend, had cheated on him while she was away for the summer and so that was the end of his relationship, too. Later that night, Dawson and I spoke and agreed that we needed to go our separate ways for awhile, see other people, experience new things, but we were still Dawson and Joey. Always Dawson and Joey." Silence descended for a moment.

"Then what?"

"From then on Pacey and I were practically joined at the hip. It was fun. We loved baiting each other. I was less uptight around him, even if it did get me into trouble sometimes."

"So, when did you realize you were in love with Pacey?"

"When he grabbed me and kissed me on the side of the road on our way back to Capeside from Boston"

"Wow! Now don’t get me wrong here, Jo. You know I’m fond of Dawson, but Pacey, wow!"

"I had just split up with someone else Id been seeing for awhile, but Pacey’s kiss drove AJ right out of my head!" She went back over to the bed and sat down again, then laid back on it.

"What did you do?" Joey’s chest shook with a laugh, as she remembered.

"I started hitting and shoving him! Audrey, you have to understand. You have no idea how catastrophic it would have been to give in to it all. We were a very tight nit group. By then, Andie and Pacey were back on good terms, but Andie was still in love with Pacey. And Dawson -"

"Dawson saw you as his property." Joey shrugged, but didn’t deny it. It had been true after all, hadn’t it?

She sighed. "Well, to cut a long story short I couldn’t resist Pacey."

"He is very cute." Audrey cut in, nodding sagely.

"We sort of sneaked around for a bit. I kept trying to find the right time to tell Dawson, but I chickened out countless times. Until it was too late and Jen let the cat out of the bag."

"Jen!"

"It wasn’t her fault. I’d told her that day that we were going to tell Dawson. At least Pacey was supposed to. I-I was in the process of stopping him from doing that when Dawson confronted us outside his house."

"Oh my god, Joey. Why did you stop Pacey?"

"I got scared. I had just chickened out again. Something Dawson said really freaked me out. Later we found out he’d known about us and just wanted to see me squirm." Joey covered her eyes with an arm.

"What did Dawson say?" Audrey asked, gently.

"That I was bored or confused or malicious. That Pacey was no friend of his. That Pacey had put sex above friendship. He felt betrayed and lied to." She paused, swallowing hard. Audrey couldn’t see her eyes as her arm still covered her face, but realized that although it had happened 3 years ago, it was still a painful subject for Joey.

"I know he was hurt, but we hadn’t been an item for nearly a year! He was the malicious one! When Andie arrived he threw the latest news at her without regard for her feelings and stormed inside saying he couldn’t stand to look at the sight of me and Pacey."

"God, Joey." Joeys arm came down and her hands curled into tight fists at her side.

"And-and despite knowing it was wrong, despite knowing that Dawson was acting like a pig I chased after him into the house without a backward glance at Pacey." Her voice broke, but her eyes were dry. "I couldn’t seem to help myself. I think Pacey knew it then. That the moment I turned to follow Dawson, it was over between us. That I had chosen Dawson." Her voice hitched again as she continued, and Audrey laid a hand on Joeys knee. "Earlier that day-" She stopped and breathed in deeply. "Earlier that day, Jen had warned me about Pacey. I remember her words exactly because it was such a sad, poignant thing to say. She said, Pacey’s heart could break just as easily as the next guys, maybe more so considering it was already broken when Id got there. But I broke it again, anyway, Audrey!"

Joey burst into tears again and covered her face with both arms. Audrey leaned over.

"Oh, Joey, you don’t have to carry on. I didn’t know it was all still so painful."

"You know you don’t mean that!" Joey sniffed, deeply and scrubbing her eyes sat up. Taking deep breaths, she looked at Audrey.

"You know me so well!"

"It’s not just that, Audrey." She shook her head. "It’s the fight with Pacey today. It’s knowing I have feelings for him and he’s with someone else. It’s knowing I screwed things up last year with him." She wiped away a stray tear and continued.

"That day, three years ago, I followed Dawson up to his room and we yelled at each other. He was so mad. Why was I doing this to him? Was it sex I wanted from Pacey? Was it revenge against him? He just wouldn’t understand. As far as he was concerned, we couldn’t be friends anymore. He refused to be a consolation prize. I had to choose. It was him or Pacey. I couldn’t have both."

"Joey? I gotta say. How much am I not liking Dawson right now? He’s sounding like a real prick!"

"I’ve got to admit. He’s always had a bit of that in him." Joey laughed, a little.

"Okay, go on."

"I found Pacey at the docks later, watching over the boat he’d restored. I told him it was over. He already knew."

"Oh Joey."

"Audrey, Dawson was this huge thing to me. You have to understand how important he was in my life and the thought of not having him there, like always, was a frightening thought."

"But you had Pacey."

"But I wouldn’t have Dawson! My one constant. I wasn’t brave enough to step out of the haven that was Dawson’s world and embrace something new with Pacey. It was agony. I felt like my heart was breaking in two, but I had to give Pacey up."

"You could have called Dawson’s bluff. That’s emotional blackmail, Joey! You shouldn’t have let him get away with it!"

"I know. I was weak. It was my choice to let him control me. I just regret it so bitterly now. When I think back..."

"Wow, I don’t think Jack and Jen even gave me the potted history version of your love life, just a couple of footnotes! So what happened then?"

"I didn’t speak to either of them for a couple of weeks until Dawson came to make up. At first, I was wrecked. I didn’t want to know, but I had dumped Pacey for this friendship with Dawson. What was the point in not even trying? So I tried to rebuild our friendship."

"And Dawson and Pacey?"

"Dawson didn’t want to know. Pacey had betrayed him in the worst possible way, supposedly..."

"But Dawson blamed you, too, didn’t he?"

"Yes, but-but-"

"But you’re female, gorgeous and he was still in love with you and wanted you back. Whereas Pacey is male, not as gorgeous and a backstabber to boot, so he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive Pacey, too."

Joey shrugged. "I know it sounds really unfair. It was, but he couldn’t help the way he felt."

"Still making excuses for him, Jo?"

"No, not anymore. I look back and realized that in a way, Pacey knew me better, and in a way that Dawson never did. All throughout that episode Pacey never hassled me or gave me ultimatums. He respected my decisions and request for time and space. He’d abide by whatever I wanted. Dawson was the complete opposite. But Pacey-Pacey was so selfless, so patient even after Dawson insulted him and nearly came to blows with him. Even when I went to the prom with Dawson..."

"The prom? You and Dawson? After all of that?"

"It was supposed to be just as friends, but Dawson had an agenda."

"I suppose to Pacey it would have looked like you and Dawson were a couple again." Audrey murmured quietly.

"I-I suppose so. Dawson kissed me that night and-and I did feel something stir. It was totally different to what I felt for Pacey, but it was there, warm and sweet."

"So you realized you still loved Dawson, too?" 

Joey turned to her, her face frustrated. "It was the daydream, Audrey. A reminder of the fantasies I’d built up around Dawson and me when I’d first fallen for him. He was friendship, safety and security. I didn’t recognize that at the time. Not for a long time. I knew I still loved him to some degree, but it didn’t change what I felt about Pacey. Whatever I felt for Dawson, it couldn’t compare to what I felt for Pacey and I was totally miserable. Doug told me that Pacey was leaving for the summer. He was going to sail his boat around the Florida Keys. When I heard that, I was mad and scared. I found Pacey and told him he was a coward, that he was running away and giving up on us. Who was I to talk, though? Pacey was right! Why should he have stayed in Capeside over the summer and have to watch me and Dawson rebuild our friendship while he was left out in the cold looking in? But instead of cutting me loose, he tried one more time. He painted on my wall..."

"You have a wall?"

"Not anymore, but Pacey bought me one to indulge my interest in art."

"I never knew he had such a romantic streak."

"Pacey has hidden depths."

"What did he paint on the wall?"

"Foot high words saying, ask me to stay.

"I thought you had?"

"No, I just laid into him. So I guess he figured he needed something from me to give him reason to hope."

"And?"

"And he didn’t get it." She shook her head sadly and sighed. "When he came for his answer I sent him away, rejected, again. I didn’t want to make things worse between him and Dawson. I was nursing Dawson’s feelings and still wary of losing him. Still scared of stepping out into the unknown."

"What did Pacey say?"

"He was very understanding, but he looked so sad and I felt so helpless! I couldn’t hide how miserable I felt and eventually even Dawson couldn’t be that oblivious. He told me to go to Pacey."

"About time!" Audrey snorted.

"Doug told me that Pacey was leaving straight away instead of the next day. I’d never run so fast in my life, Audrey." Joey closed her eyes as if visualizing the past events. "Like the wind all the way to the dock after a quick change at home. I was so scared that Id only be in time to see his boat as a blip on the horizon!" She paused.

"And? Come on! Then what, Jo?" Audrey was almost bouncing up and down on the bed in anticipation. Joey let the silence stretch; a small, cheeky smile lifting the corner of her lips at Audrey’s askance scowl.

"I caught him in time."

"What did you say to him?"

Joey smiled. "I remember that practically word for word, too. The important part anyway."

"So tell me!" Audrey exclaimed, excitedly.

"I said, ‘I think I’m in love with you."

"Yes, yes and what did he say? Come on Joey! Stop teasing! Give! What did he say?"

"You think or you know?"

"Huh? Oh, right! Yay for Pacey making you work for it!" Joey shoved Audrey with her shoulder. "And you said what?"

"I know."

"Oh Joey,” Audrey held a hand up to her heart, “I’m all choked up."

"Then we actually set sail there and then. It was the best summer of my life. He never pressured me for sex once. Patience personified, that’s Pacey. And sexy as hell! I was the one who had a devil of a time keeping my hands off him!" She looked at Audrey and blushed. "When Pacey loves, he loves big and deeply." She stopped and looked at Audrey. They cracked up laughing. "I didn’t mean that quite the way it sounded." She giggled. "But that ended up being true, too!" They snorted with laughter and it was a few minutes before they gained control again. Joey sighed. "Audrey, I miss that. I miss making love to him, with him."

"And the raw animal sex! That’s in a category all of its own!"

"That too! But more than that, I miss him." She added quietly. "I didn’t appreciate him enough while we were together last year."

"And now he’s with Nora."

Joey stood abruptly and began pacing again.

"I can’t stand seeing them together!"

"Seeing them happy together."

Joey stopped in her tracks. "She had the nerve to warn me off the other week!"

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" She spread her arms out, hunching her shoulders up, in appeal.

"Duh! Get him back!"

"You said it yourself, Audrey. They’re happy and were you not witness to the fight he and I just had?"

"Uh, yeah. It was explosive! And if you can’t see what’s right under your nose then you’re not the smart bunny I thought you were!"

"What do you mean?"

"Joey!" Audrey bounced up herself now, huffing in exasperation. "The guy's still in love with you!"

"He hates me!"

"I saw anger, yes. I also saw passion. I saw sexual tension. He might have some semblance of happiness with this Nora chick, but he definitely still has feelings for you. He couldn’t get that riled if he didn’t care."

"Maybe he’s pissed that I treated him like crap last year because I sort of did. I adored him, but I did keep putting Dawson first. I thought I knew what I had in Pacey, but I never really realized until I lost him. I got mad. At myself, and at him for humiliating me at the prom, for dumping me out of the blue and leaving Capeside without a word. I almost hated him. So I went back to what I knew, what was familiar and comfortable."

"Dawson."

"Dawson. I really believed I wanted to be with him. I love him, you know." Sadness tinged her voice. "Just not in that way."

"It was a childhood love."

"A childhood dream. No matter how many tries we have it never works out. Why do we keep beating our heads against a brick wall? I didn’t know it at the time, but the moment I discovered my feelings for Pacey, was the moment the dream for me and Dawson died. Jack and AJ never really touched what I thought I had with Dawson. Pacey was a whole different ballgame. There are a lot of things I didn’t wake up to until a long time later."

"Well, Audrey began, briskly, you’re older and wiser now. Old enough to know better, wise enough to do something about it."

"Audrey, it’s over between me and Pacey."

"Not after that performance, it isn’t. Do you want him or not? Huh? Well?" Joey bit her lip worriedly.

"Yes, I want him back."

"Then go for it! At least find out what he feels."

"I can’t."

"Um, hello? Is that the same Joey Potter who ran away for the summer with Pacey? The same Joey Potter who made the crowd go wild while singing on stage?"

They stared at each other for long seconds. Joey’s eyes clouded with doubt, warring with hope. She drew in a tremulous breath and slowly let it out.

"Maybe-maybe I’ll go round and see him. Play it by ear, like. I don’t want to make a fool of myself and you won’t be there to act as referee this time."

"Huh! Fat lot of notice the two of you took of me, anyway!"

"I’ll see him tomorrow after he’s calmed down."

"No!! Audrey stomped her foot. "Tonight! Strike while the iron’s hot!"

"Not while tempers are still running high. He won’t listen to me!"

"Make him listen!" Audrey shoved Joey towards the door, grabbing her coat and shoving it into Joey’s arms, while at the same time hustling her toward the door. "Go!"

"But I’ve got to cancel my date with Elliot and go to dinner with Professor Wilder!"

"Make up with Pacey first. If Elliot comes here, I’ll cover for you. And if you don’t come back tonight, I’ll know it all ended happily." Audrey raised her eyebrows expressively. Joey threw her a narrow-eyed stare.

"Pacey’s probably not home."

"He’s probably licking his wounds. Out!" Audrey thrust Joey through the open door and shut it in her face as she began another protest. Audrey counted to three then pulled the door open again to find Joey still standing there, worry and indecision on her face.

"I said go, Joey!" Audrey shoved at her again and Joey started walking away.

"Okay, okay, I’m going!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5. (Sexual innuendos, explicit language)  
> Joey has a gig singing with Charlie's band, but has to rely on Pacey to get them there. Friction during the car ride ensues.

Joey went straight to Civilisation, she couldn’t see Pacey around and asked his boss, Danny Brecher as he came out of the kitchens.

"Yep! He’s here and in a foul mood! That your fault, missy?" Danny eyed her, meanly. Joey grimaced at him.

"Is he busy?"

"Pretending to be. He’s not even supposed to be here and he’s no help. It’s just as well we’re not busy tonight."

"Then is it okay if I speak to him?"

"And who are you?"

"Joey."

"Joey. Aren’t you the roommate of my new waitress who didn’t bother to show up tonight?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Pacey growled something about her being unwell."

"Er, yes."

"Hmm, okay." He accepted with a mildly suspicious look. "Let’s see if you get lucky." Danny went back into the kitchen and after a couple of minutes Pacey came out. He stood at the kitchen door for a moment just looking at her and then came round the counter. 

"Do you wanna sit down and have a coffee?" he asked and Joey accepted the offer gratefully. Pacey called to one of the waitresses and asked for their drinks. Then led her to a corner table. 

He didn’t want to drag this out. Their sudden fight had knocked him for six and he had no idea how it had spiraled out of control so quickly. He didn’t want to over analyze it. Still, he knew he’d said too much. All he wanted to do now was apologize and get things back to the how their friendship was before. 

Joey sighed heavily. "You’ll be glad to know that I’ve decided not to indulge in a catastrophic affair with my English professor. It was never a serious idea anyway."

"Is that what you came to tell me?" 

"Among other things." He was making this so difficult. His eyes were dark and she couldn’t read them. She used to be able to so easily before.

"So I guess Nice Guy gets lucky."

"No, he’s not in the picture, either. He never really was."

"Well, no mans ever been able to fill Dawson’s shoes, have they?" Hell! Why couldn’t he just leave it? Just let it go? Joey compressed her lips and he hoped she wasn’t going to cry. He felt bad enough already. Just apologize already! Sort it out and move on.

She wanted to say, except you. But the words wouldn’t come out. She wanted to reach out and close her hand over his. How was she supposed to tell him that she no longer wanted Dawson? That it was him she wanted? He wasn’t going to believe her.

"Pacey," she shook her head, wordlessly. She was trying to fight back the prick of tears. "Pacey, can we not talk about Dawson? He has so little to do with this, you have no idea."

"Have I been a bastard?" 

"Yes." She answered immediately, but laughing slightly. "We regressed right back to sixth grade, didn’t we? You were vile to me back then too. And right up to tenth!"

A reluctant chuckle escaped Pacey as the waitress came with their coffees. "Thanks Janice." He smiled. "As I recall, you were vile right back at me. You always gave as good as you got, Potter. You know it."

"Someone had to keep you in your place and on your toes."

"And you did it so well." His mouth twisted, wryly making her laugh again. He gave a quick smile then sobered. "I’m sorry, Jo. Let’s forget it and move on, please?" She gazed into his face, He had the most beautiful blue eyes. She wondered how it was he couldn’t see the word love struck written all over her face. Her heart certainly knew it, because it upped its tempo and squeezed so hard in her chest she felt all breathless. 

"I’m sorry, too. I just don’t understand how it, well escalated so fast. I just-."

"I guess, wed both just had a bad day maybe, and caught each other on the raw, huh?" Pacey interrupted her, abruptly. He didn’t wait for a reply. "I shouldn’t have come at you, guns blazing telling you what to do. Jo, it’s your life. You do what you want, yeah?"

"Yeah, but sleeping your English teacher is a bad idea."

"It does have its downside." Although, he didn’t for the world regret his time with Tamara. 

"I would think so." Which meant there was an upside, too, of course, Joey thought. Although, she’d guessed a long time ago that it hadn’t all been about sex for Pacey with Miss Tamara Jacobs. 

"So,” Pacey said, taking a sip of his coffee, “tell me about Nice Guy. Does he actually have a name?"

"Elliot, but I told you he’s not really in the picture."

"He’s interested, though, right?"

"I guess after tonight I’m not so sure." They drank another two cups of coffee as they talked. Though, their conversation was kept strictly to talk about school, Paceys job at the restaurant, and a little teasing banter about their hate relationship as children. Pacey insisted on driving her back to her dorm and although a little regretful Joey felt she’d done the right thing in not telling Pacey about her feelings. It hadn’t felt right. 

She didn’t have time for a post-mortem with Audrey and left a few minutes later for the Professors dinner. When she got back, Audrey called her a chicken for the rest of the night. Joey accused her of being more miffed that she had no juicy goings on to gossip with her about. Audrey sensed her inner sadness, though and after a big comforting hug, they’d gone to sleep.

 

**************

"Come on, Pacey. You’ve got that nice, new, shiny, red car that Papa Witter gave ya. Neither of us are working today, so we’re both free. What do you say?" Audrey rushed on as Pacey hesitated, frowning at her. "Don’t be such a grumpy guts. Maybe fame and fortune is beckoning, Joey. Who are you to deny her that chance?"

"I see, so if I refuse to give you guys a lift to this gig upstate, I’ll be responsible for the collapse of rock star Joey’s career before it’s even started."

"Got it in one!"

"That’s a lot to hit a guy with, but shouldn’t you be more concerned about the sleazebag she’ll be singing with?"

"It’s Joey’s life." Audrey said, noncommittally.

"But-."

"Pacey, do you remember the last falling out you had with Joey over you trying to tell her how to lead her life?"

"Okay, okay." He held his hands up in defeat. "Fine! I’ll take you. Okay? Happy now?"

"Yes, thank you. You’re a pal!" she slapped him on the back as she went by. "I’ll tell Joey when I get back to the dorm"

************** 

"You asked Pacey?"

"Yeah."

"Is Nora coming?" she asked with affected indifference.

"I don’t know." Audrey flicked a glance her way. "What if she is?"

Joey shrugged, and became preoccupied with looking out of the window.

"Joey, you’re not fooling me. I know the whole story now, remember?"

"Audrey, that subject is closed. Besides I’ve decided that Charlie might be fun."

"The same Charlie you warned me off a few weeks ago?" Joey looked askance at her. "What kind of fun, anyway?" Joey lightly smacked Audrey on her arm.

"The singing on stage kind of fun!"

What was so wrong with that? He was interested in her. She could do with an ego boost after the last few months she’d had. She wondered what Nora would make of it. Did she have any lingering feelings for Charlie? Would Pacey get jealous over Charlie because of Nora? Maybe she’d get a clue on that on this little road trip if Nora came along for the ride.

"Okay, I forgive you, Audrey. But you should have asked me first."

"Oh please. Be glad we didn’t fall out over Charlie asking you to lead this band over me at this gig. You know I’m the better singer out of us two!"

"Bitch!" Joey laughed.

"He wants to get into your panties, Miss Potter! You better watch him."

"He can only try!" Joey said airily. "I’m only doing this 'cos it’ll be fun. I’m glad you’re coming with me, though. It's really short notice and I’m a little nervous about it."

"I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’m happy to see you grabbing life by the balls and giving it a good shake. Knock ‘em dead, bunny. And now that Dawson’s film is finished, it’s not a problem for me to come down with you."

"Oh yes, I’d forgotten about your acting debut. You can talk about Charlie trying to get into my pants, but it’s your throat he’s been thrusting his tongue down for the past couple of weeks in Dawson’s film project!"

"Ugh! Don’t remind me! He’s a complete horndog!"

"The only downside about this gig is I’ll miss Lily’s birthday party."

"She’s only a year old. Trust me, she won’t miss you."

"Yes, but she’s Dawson’s baby sister. She’s named after my mother. And Gale and Dawson are expecting me."

"Dawson’s mom will forgive you. I’m sure Dawson will, too. You and he have been getting on okay lately, haven’t you?"

"Yeah, and I’m glad about that. Tentative steps. We went to the movies. It was nice."

"Just nice?"

"Just nice." Joey affirmed with a meaningful look.

"So it’s definitely Pacey?" Audrey asked. 

Joey nodded, wordlessly, a brief flare of pain darkened her eyes, but she shook it away and smiled brightly.

"I can handle it, Audrey. I came to college expecting to grow and change, and experience a spice of life that I was sadly lacking in Capeside. I’ve got to stop letting the past drag me down. So, as you said, I’m going to start grabbing life by the balls."

"And give them a good yank, too!"

"You betcha! I have a present for Lily, so I’ll go round to Grams to give it to Dawson before he goes back to Capeside."

"But first, let’s play dress up. You have got to look hot for this thing!"

 

"No, Audrey! The deal was that I t  
ake you and Joey there, not him."

"Well, there’s been a change of plan. My ride has already left." Charlie said.

"Is that why you were late? A little lax in kicking your latest ride out of bed?" Pacey drawled, dislike coloring his voice. Joey saw the trouble brewing on Charlie’s face.

"Come on Pace. I know this wasn’t planned, but there’s nothing else we can do now."

"If you’re worried about how Nora and I will get on, you needn’t worry. Nora and I already know each other quite well." Charlie sniped back, a little nastily. This time it was Nora who forestalled Pacey. She stepped in front of him, curbing the step he was about to make in Charlie’s direction laying a hand against his chest, and forcing him to switch his attention to her.

"Pacey, I haven’t got a problem with Charlie."

"Thank you, Nora." Charlie smirked at Pacey over Nora’s shoulder, ignoring the glare Joey aimed at him.

"He’s persona non grata as far as I’m concerned. And apart from the horrible stench that’ll be coming from his corner in the car I doubt I’ll even notice he’s there." Audrey snickered at Nora’s insult. Charlie’s mouth opened, but closed on Joey’s sharp dig in his ribs.

"Pacey, I know he’s gate crashing,” Joey appealed, “but we really need to get a move on. Please."

Pacey muttered under his breath as he unlocked the car. "You’re all going to have to squeeze in the back."

"Pacey, you know that’s not even a problem with this car." Nora commented as she slipped into the front passenger seat. "There’s a lot of space back there." Joeys slight rolling of her eyes was only caught by Audrey.

"Too much information, thank you." Joey muttered.

"You did clean up after yourselves, didn’t you?" Charlie dared to slip out another riposte. Pacey bit back his response, seeing another appeal in Joey’s eyes for him to ignore Charlie. He opened the door to the back and taking Joeys arm, he ushered her into the car, ignoring her bemused expression. As Charlie came forward, he put an arm out and thrust him back, ignoring his yelped, "Hey!" and leaning past him took Audrey’s arm, pushing her next into the car. Nora watched these proceedings with a tense set face.

"Get in." Pacey finally grunted to Charlie, slamming the door after him

 

"I know this baby is probably your pride and joy and you want to handle her with kid gloves, but do you think you could step on the gas a little? I’d like to get to this gig before tomorrow." Charlie met Pacey’s eyes in the rear-view mirror.

"I’m sure you’d also like to get there in one piece, too." Pacey couldn’t help the tightness in his tone. He was really trying to keep a tight rein on his irritation. They were only half an hour into the drive and he already wanted to ram his fist down the guy’s throat. Up until now he’d parried or ignored the slight digs from Charlie, but he was fast losing his patience. He didn’t know how Nora, did it. It really was as if Charlie weren’t there for her.

Joey cut in before Charlie could reply. "Pacey, it wouldn’t hurt to speed up a little." She pretended not to hear his muttering under his breath. "Um, Charlie what’s the name of this place we’re going to, anyway?"

"Uh, The Drunk and the Dead."

"Oh-kay." Pacey muttered, and caught the look of censure Nora threw at him. "What?" he mouthed at her. She shook her head, looking away.

"Now I’m even more nervous than before!" Joey groaned.

"You’ll be great, Joey." Charlie assured her. "You’ve got nothing to worry about. Besides you’re hot. If they’re not concentrating on your singing, they’ll be concentrating on your other many admirable attributes."

"And what would these admirable attributes be?" Audrey asked, mischievously. Pacey and Charlie’s eyes clashed again in the rear-view mirror. Pacey could not believe that Joey let him get away with such a comment.

"I don’t have firsthand knowledge, but I know the lady can’t be all ice and feistiness. Is there any hope of me finding out differently, Jo?" Pacey’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. 

"I don’t know Charlie. Would you be worth my time and effort?" 

The silky drawl toning her voice did things to Pacey’s nerve ends that that jolted his system; a quick hit to the groin and then a spasm of venomous anger so strong that it shocked him. Anger because of the sexual hit, and anger against Charlie. Sparks flew from his eyes, but Charlie wasn’t looking at him. His attention was solely on Joey, a delighted grin on his face. Joey arched an amused brow back at him.

"Not to blow my own horn or anything, but I have my own admirable qualities. Isn’t that right, Nora?"

"Don’t fucking speak to her, you asshole! Otherwise, get the fuck out of my car right now!" Pacey was already screeching to a halt off the road, twisting in his chair to look back at Charlie.

"For goodness sake, Pacey! He’s not worth it. If Joey wants to waste her time with the loser, that’s her business!" Nora snapped. She pushed away a nagging feeling of dread. Pacey was uptight because he loathed Charlie. That was all.

"What is your problem, man?"

"Charlie, shut up!" Joey commanded, slicing a mean eye at Nora. "Not another word until we get to where we’re going!" Charlie shut up, slumping back into his seat. Joey gave Pacey a long weirded out look.

"One more word out of him and he gets dumped in the middle of nowhere!" Pacey restarted the car, glancing at Nora, but her face was averted. He sighed heavily and drove off and they all continued the rest of the journey in disgruntled silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5. (A little explicit sexual content)  
> Nora is jealous and panicked. Pacey and Charlie come to blows at Dawson's film screening, preceding a vicious row between Pacey and Joey.

After a very shaky start, Joey ended up winning the crowd over.   
Nora watched Joey up on stage, aware that Pacey was watching just as intently. A cold shudder ran through her. His mouth tightened each time Charlie leaned into Joey as he played guitar, his gaze stony when Joey teasingly caressed Charlie’s cheek. Was it about Joey? Or Charlie? Was it about a guy sleazing on his friend? Or about a resurfacing love for his ex-girlfriend?

Nora blinked away sudden tears. Joey was right, whether by accident or perceptive instinct, she had hit upon Nora’s hidden fear.   
Nora hadn’t gone into this totally blind. She knew Pacey still cared about Joey. They were old friends. They’d been lovers. She knew he hadn’t been completely over Joey when she’d met him. But their relationship was over. And Pacey had been ready to start another with someone else. She just needed the time to be the one to help him be completely free of Joey. Up until now Nora had believed she was succeeding in that goal. Joey’s sudden interest in Pacey, and Pacey’s behavior over Charlie were things that could be a real threat to what she had with him. Joey hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off Dawson at the boat party. When and how had that all changed? Was she one of those women who thought they could have it all? Watching her up on stage flirting with Charlie, it seemed like it.

The set came to an end and Nora saw Pacey’s shoulders relax. He whistled and clapped, turning to Nora to find himself caught in her eyes, a strange expression in them.

"What’s wrong?" he asked in her ear.

"Are you happy now?" Oh, oh, that wasn’t what she’d planned to say.

"About what?"

"It’s over now. You don’t have to watch Joey cavorting on stage with Charlie, anymore." Nora turned smartly on her heel, at the same time berating herself for starting this conversation. Pacey grabbed her arm.

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

"You should have seen yourself! You were glowering at Charlie every time he came within a couple of feet of her! It seems pretty suspect to me!" she wrenched her arm away and stalked off. Pacey threw a glance at a bemused Audrey who saw the altercation, but couldn’t hear anything above the crowd noise and music. He flicked another glance at the stage before tearing after Nora.

She slammed out into the night air with Pacey a few seconds behind her.

"Nora, you’re not making much sense!"

She whirled round to face him and tried to control the volume of her voice, mainly because she didn’t want to sound panicked. "If you’re still in love with Joey you-." 

He didn’t even let her finish. "What?" He exploded, staring at her blankly.

"You didn’t let me finish!" she snapped, then continued in a low even tone. "You’ve been like a bear with a sore head since Charlie started sniffing around her. What’s it all about?"

"Nothing!"

Admittedly, he looked really affronted and aggrieved that she could accuse him of such things. He tried to pull her into his arms, but his hands slid away at her resistance. "The guy’s a scumbag! Have you forgotten what he did to you and Jen?"

"No, but-."

"Then why on earth would I want him sleazing on Joey? I’m just trying to look out for her. She’s my friend, too."

"She’s also your ex-girlfriend."

"Who’s still hung up on her ex-boyfriend!" 

"You’re her ex-boyfriend!"

"And you’re my girlfriend! I’m with you! Nora, this is pointless. Come on." He took her hand, and she let him. He drew her in and embraced her, releasing a silent sigh of relief. "Maybe, I have overdone it a bit." He kissed her temple, then drew back to look at her. "I see a friend in trouble and I wade in without a thought." He smoothed back her hair, gazing into her eyes. "Ask any of my friends. I apparently have a white knight complex. I can’t help it." 

Nora so wanted to believe him. "I’m sorry." She sighed. "I just-"

"Hey, no worries. Come here." He pulled her in again for a hug and kissed her briefly on the lips.

Just then the doors to the bar slammed open again and amongst the crowd, spilling out was Joey, Audrey and Charlie. 

"Everything okay?" Audrey asked. Joey’s attention perked up. Although Pacey’s arm was around Nora, nestled against his chest, she sensed something was wrong. Nora wouldn’t look at them and Pacey’s voice was overly bright.

"Fine. Are we done here?"

"Yep."

"Where did you guys disappear to?" Joey asked. "I came off stage and you were gone." 

Pacey’s gaze dropped to Nora then back to Joey. "Sorry," he offered no explanation. "But do I need to say you were brilliant?"

"I thought I was dead meat to begin with." Joey laughed, eyeing Nora’s averted face, curiously. "That crowd was scary!"

"They were pretty rowdy." Pacey agreed.

"Didn’t I say you’d be hot?" Charlie piped up.

"I’m so beat." Audrey filled the sudden silence as they slowly walked to the car. "I think that was too much excitement even for me!" Audrey said. “Are you sure you’re up to driving straight back now, Pacey? I spy a motel across the street. We could always crash there and-."

"No thanks." Joey cut in. "I want my own warm bed if that’s okay, Pace?"

"No problem. Let’s go." He looked at Charlie. "Isn’t your ride here?"

"Uh, yeah, but-."

"Then seeing as you’re no fan of my driving skills you’ll be more than happy to get a ride with your band members instead, right?" And although he said it politely enough, his face was uncompromising and there was an underlying hardness to his tone.

Charlie shrugged. "Hmm, yeah, not a problem. I’ll see you guys soon."

"Ya think?" It slipped out.

"You’ll be at the screening of Dawson’s film, won’t you?" he added, backing away now as he went.

"Of course! See you there!" Joey called after him.

The ride home was quiet. Even Audrey didn’t say much. He dropped her and Joey off and wasn’t surprised when Nora decided she’d rather stay at her dorm, roommate from hell or no. Pacey was glad he felt exhausted. It didn’t give him the time or energy to think about the night’s events or what the short or long term fallout would be.

 

**************

Two days had passed since Pacey had told Nora he was going to Dawson's screening and Pacey had gone through the motions of normality, pretending that everything was okay - but he was trying to ignore the obvious. They had gone from romping every night to...nothing. Nora was moody and quiet. She’d turned away from him the last two nights pleading tiredness. She hadn't argued with him. She’d told him it wasn't a problem, even though she wouldn't be able to come with him because she would have already left to spend the weekend with her parents but her temperament had changed. Pacey knew it was about Joey, but he didn’t know what more he could say to reassure her. She’d just have to trust him.

"I don't even really want to go." Pacey moaned as they lay together in bed the night before. 

"Then why are you?" 

"Jen asked me, and Audrey's been bugging me at work about it all week. How could I not want to be at her acting debut?" He chuckled a little, throwing Nora a look, but her smile was half-hearted.

"It's always about her, isn't it?" Nora commented. "And I mean that in the nicest way. I really like her."

"Yeah, so, I’ve got to go. And if I’m honest, I’d like to see this masterpiece of Dawson's. We might not be the best of friends right now, but I’ve always admired his drive and dedication when it came to his career choice. It was always in such a direct contrast to myself. I never knew what I wanted to do. Never wanted to look that deeply into my future."

He cleared his throat. He was rambling and hoped she couldn't detect his nervousness. He’d kind of been walking around on eggshells since her outburst after the gig the other week and had been going out of his way to make her feel extra secure about him. Danny was on holiday and Pacey was house sitting for him. It meant he had a proper bed for the next few weeks, he and Nora had the luxury of having an apartment to themselves and they hadn’t been slow in taking advantage of it. Hence their nightly romps. Pacey had given her a spare key so she could come and go as she pleased, especially if she needed somewhere quiet and comfortable to study. Everything had been going well until he broached the subject of Dawson's screening. "I wish I could see you off, though-"

"Pacey, I’ve already said it's okay. If you saw me to the station, you'd miss the beginning of Dawson's film. I told you don't worry about it." She turned away from him, hiding a telltale shine to her eyes.

He scooted closer and kissed her bare shoulder, his lips lingering. "Hurry back, 'kay? I’m missing you already." That was the truth. She hadn't been her normal self the past couple of days. He didn’t like it. It scared him.

Nora let go a soft, stealthy sigh. He was trying. He had been trying very hard this past week. Had treated her like gold; flowers, cute little presents, special attention. Sex between them had been especially good. He’d given her a spare key to this place while his boss was on holiday. It was going to be heaven getting away for awhile from her freakish roommate at the dorms. 

But she’d forgotten about Dawson’s screening. The reminder had dented her equilibrium. Joey's words from their fight had rung in her ears constantly for the last two days, but maybe she was worrying about nothing. Why spoil their last night together before she left with found less fears? Maybe Joey did have rekindled feelings for Pacey, or maybe she was just the jealous, possessive type, full stop. It didn’t mean she wanted Pacey back. Right? 

The more Nora thought about it, the more she felt she had been a little precipitous in challenging Joey. Apart from the Charlie business, since she and Pacey had become an item he hadn't given her a reason, by word or deed to suspect that he wanted Joey back, either. She would enjoy tonight, revel and lose herself in Pacey's lovemaking, and look forward to seeing her parents with no qualms.  
Suddenly Nora turned into him, her hand beneath the sheets curving over his hipbone. 

"Let's not let this night go to waste then," she murmured and kissed the tip of his nose, smiling into his eyes. The relief in Pacey's slight chuckle wasn't lost on him as he eagerly gathered her up against his body, his hands sliding down to cup the two pert halves of her bottom possessively, moaning appreciatively as her hand began its own journey down and began massaging his cock…

 

**************

Pacey sat at the back of the auditorium. The screening should have started half an hour ago and that alone had already put him in a bad mood. He could have seen Nora off after all if he’d known the film was going to start late. Where was Dawson? He could see Dawson's partner, Oliver, who wrote the screenplay, rushing about but no Dawson. Where was he? 

Joey was six rows ahead of him, her head angled toward the blond mop of hair that belonged to Charlie. More fool her, he derided, silently. He deliberately let his gaze wander elsewhere. There was Jen and Jack murmuring together way in the front. Audrey was sat behind them, hands waving expressively as she talked, and glancing around every so often. Looking out for Dawson presumably. The place was filling up quite nicely, though. His gaze found Joey and Charlie again of their own volition and he expelled an annoyed huff. Her laughter wafted up to him. He wondered how well Charlie was charming the pants off her, then caught himself. Thinking about Joey's pants was not good. Not at all. Think of something else Witter, he told himself. Think about Nora and last night. Oh, yes, that - 

He felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw Joey's head close the distance between hers and Charlie's and for a second he thought she was going to kiss him. No, no, she was just leaning closer to listen to what Charlie was saying. Okay, she was pulling back now. Jen and Nora had had the sense to put that player in his place, but if Joey didn’t have the smarts to do the same, then that was her affair. He didn’t know what game she was playing, but he was having nothing to do with it. His thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he saw Joey jerk back and her shoulders stiffen. She stood up and rapidly strode out, her face set and staring straight ahead. Charlie was still sat in his seat and then let his head fall into his hands. He rose and followed her. Before Pacey knew what he was doing, he was out of his seat and right behind him.

Charlie was out in the hallway. He looked left, then right, and saw Joey disappearing around the corner. He was about to follow when he felt a hand grab his arm and shove him back against the wall.

"Leave her alone." 

When Charlie saw who it was he shrugged Pacey's hand off, and shook his head with sardonic amusement. "Man, what is it with you? For someone who’s supposed to be only her friend you seem to have an unhealthy interest in your ex-girlfriend."

"Not that you’d be able to tell the difference. I don't know what you said to upset her, but it's obvious you're the last person she wants to see right now."

"You know, Nora wasn't too happy about my antics and I don't blame her, but I wonder what she would make of yours. And just in case you were wondering, Nora happens to be your girlfriend. You seem to have a hard time remembering that!" 

Pacey planted a splayed hand against Charlie's chest and shoved him back against the wall again.

"Don't push your luck, Chuckie Boy. You've been skating on thin ice for a long time. If Joey's not interested-" 

"Does Joey act like she's not interested?" 

"I think she's just done a good job of showing that. I don't see her hanging on your every word right now, do you?" 

"She's been hanging on my lips, though." 

Pacey pinned a grim look on him. 

"Girl's who aren't interested don't plant smackers on your lips - and without provocation I might add." 

"I wouldn't brag." Pacey said, an underlying menace to his voice. "It was probably a brief mental aberration of her part." 

"Yeah, right. Is it that hard to imagine that Joey might actually like me? I mean, really like me, and has been open enough to give me the benefit of the doubt?"

"Yeah, it pretty much is, actually." 

Charlie's mouth twisted into a sneer. "I’m happy to say that Joey doesn't seem to agree. Nora doesn't know what she's missing." 

"Shut up." 

"Or maybe she does." Charlie mused. 

 

Charlie was an idiot! Joey was realizing that this fun flirtation with Charlie wasn't diverting her mind the way she hoped. In fact, she was starting to wonder why she was even giving him the time of day. She did not want to know what kind of 'ungodly' things he wanted to do to her and the second he admitted that was what he was thinking was the instant she wondered what the hell she was playing at with this guy! This was all Pacey's fault! Why had these feelings for him come back? Maybe they never really went away. An insidious voice whispered in her head. And what was the point in having these feelings if they weren't reciprocated? But maybe they are. Audrey thinks so. 

She shook the thought away, angrily. No! Audrey was wrong. Pacey couldn't seem to help coming to a girl's rescue. That's all it was about. That night at the restaurant they had talked and laughed. If Pacey still loved her then he was hiding it very, very well. He certainly had a very healthy relationship with Nora. Joey immediately banished that image. She sighed. Playing with Charlie had been a stupid idea. She’d go and find him now and tell him straight that nothing was going to happen with them. She straightened up and turned the corner to go back the way she’d come but came to an abrupt halt after only two steps, her mouth dropping open.   
She was just in time to see Pacey haul Charlie up to him by his shirtfront. She didn’t hear what he said, and then Pacey was dragging him out of the nearby fire doors. She suddenly remembered she had feet and ran down the hallway, almost crashing into Audrey, Jen and Jack as they spilled out of the auditorium.

"Whoa! What's going on?" Jack called after her. 

"Pacey and Charlie! They're outside fighting!" she shouted back, throwing open the doors and running out into the night herself, the others on her heels.

"You say nothing about Nora. Got that?" Pacey gritted, shaking Charlie. 

"Someone's got to look out for the girl in her absence and when she finds out that her boyfriend's been sniffing around his ex-." Charlie didn’t get any further. Pacey's fist connected with Charlie's jaw just as Joey and the gang spilled outside. 

Charlie hit the grassy verge, stunned for a second, then started up, his eyes boring into Pacey. Pacey was ready for him, avoided his swing and landed another blow to his face. Charlie staggered back against the railing of the building this time, his fingers shot to the side of his eye to smear the trickle of blood there. He looked at his stained fingers and then at Pacey. 

Jack took hold of Pacey’s arm and Pacey tried to shake him off. "Let go, Jack!"

"Pacey! Pacey, stop!" Joey ran up to him. He tried to push her out of the way, but now Jack came to stand between him and Charlie. "What the hell are you playing at? What’s this about?"

"He doesn’t believe in free speech." Charlie scorned. "And he doesn’t like to hear the truth."

"Shut the fuck up!" Pacey tried to shove past Jack. Joey hauled on his arm.

"Leave him alone, Pacey. You’ll-."

"Get off me!" Pacey pulled away. "I already warned him about talking about Nora."

This was about Nora? They were fighting over Nora? Joey was incredulous. Why? She wondered.

"So like the mature adult you are you decided to go in fists flying. That’s just typical of you, Pacey!"

"It’s not just about Nora." Charlie began, then shut up as Jack gave him a warning shove on the shoulder, even as he kept a splayed hand pressed against Pacey’s chest. 

But Pacey now rounded furiously on Joey. "Oh, I’m sorry, Joey. Are you scared I might put a dent in your pretty boy’s face? Is that it?"

"Look, don’t you two start, please." Audrey frowned anxiously.

Joey backed away from the viciousness in his face. "He’s not my boy."

"No? I didn’t think kissing and flirting with random guys was your thing, Jo. Is this the new you?"

Joey threw a mean glance at Charlie who quickly looked away.

"Pacey-"

"Except it’s not just random guys, is it? It’s this one. The one who picked up two girls, one of them your actual friend, and then used and cheated on them, and would have continued to do that if he hadn’t been found out. This is the guy you decide to kiss and flirt with!" He threw his hands up in disgust and turned away.

"Don’t you dare hit and run!" Joey snarled, grabbing his arm again. "Why are you yelling at me? It’s him you were fighting with!" 

"Because if it isn’t English professors you contemplate dallying with, it’s player scum like him! I guess, I just expected you to have a little more respect for yourself, Jo"

"Pacey," Jack warned.

"That’s not fair." Joey took a shaky, furious breath. "But then I forgot you’re perfect, aren’t you, Pacey?"

"So you told me last year, the perfect boyfriend, but that was just a lie too, yeah?"

"What I’m doing with Charlie is my business, Pacey and-." 

"And you’re supposed to be the smart one." 

"No, you’re the smart one, right, Pace?" If he wanted a fight then she was going to give him one! "I mean you barely graduated from high school by the skin of your teeth!"

"At least it didn’t take a hand out from my ex-soul mate to buy me into college." Audrey gasped, looking from Jen and Jack to Joey, who sucked in a hiss of dismay. 

"Pacey, stop." Jen asked, quietly, seeing the betraying shine in Joey’s eyes. Pacey ignored her. His own gaze pinned unflinchingly on Joey.

"Didn’t he appreciate the services rendered, Joey? Is that why he dumped you for Jen?" Jen looked away embarrassed. They obviously hadn’t heard her latest news.

"And you wonder why you’ve always come second to Dawson!" Joey breathed. 

Pacey laughed, derisively. "Except for the loss of your precious virginity. Right Jo? I’ll always have that over him. That’s gotta stick in his craw, I’ll bet."

"Yeah, you took that, but-"

"No!" He snapped back. He jabbed a finger in the air at her. "You gave that to me. And for fucks sake, it’s not like I didn’t have to wait long enough for it!" Audrey hid her face.

"Hey! Pacey! Come on, man" Jack said.

"Guess, this isn’t about me, anymore." Charlie muttered.

"Then just get lost!" Jen spat at him and without even being noticed by Pacey or Joey he went back into the theatre.

"You are crass. And vulgar. And hateful. Just-just go!" 

"Yeah, I’d better, before I say something I’ll really regret." 

She folded her arms tightly about her body. "Yeah, you do that. You know, maybe we were better off as enemies." 

His response was a tight, sexy grin. "Even you had to succumb to my devilish charms eventually, Jo, because Dawson just wasn’t doing it for you, was he?"

"Go to hell!"

"Already been there, the whole of last year!" He smirked. "What sweet, ironic justice that your first love, the guy you couldn’t let go of the whole time we were together, should have dumped you for the first girl he ever lusted after!" He shook his head, chuckling to himself.

"I thought that was Gretchen." Pacey ignored the solitary tear that trickled down her cheek.

"Hmm, my poor sister, she had a lucky escape then!"

"Stop it, please! I can’t stand this! Pacey! Joey!" Jen appealed.

"It’s okay. I’m outta here." He turned and left. Audrey, Jen and Jack exchanged wondering looks, then surrounded Joeys shaking frame.

"What is his problem?" she exploded. 

"You know what I think it is, Jo." Audrey told her, quietly.

"What?" Jack asked, but he was ignored.

"What makes him think he can get away with talking to me like that? I-I hate him!" she choked out, turning into Jack’s arms, hiding her tear stained face.

"What’s the deal, Audrey?" he asked again. 

Jen had her own very good idea what it was all about, but said nothing. Joey suddenly pulled away scrubbing away her tears and began marching away.

"Joey? Joey! Where are you going?"

"Why should I let him get away with that? No! I’m not going to let him! This is the second time now."

"Joey you gave as good as you got." Jack told her. "Give yourselves some cool down time and then-." 

"No, Jack. He has some explaining to do."

"Jo, you went to him last time and apologized. Why don’t you let him do the running this time? Let him come to you?"

Joey stood contemplating Audrey’s suggestion, but shook her head a second later.

"No." she said. "You’re right about one thing though and I’m going to sort it right now." And was gone.

Jen stopped Jack from following. "It’s their fight Jack. Leave them to it."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.(Sexually explicit content and language)  
> Pacey and Joey make up in the best and worst way possible.

By the time Joey got to the restaurant, she found her resolve failing her. And when she found out that Pacey wasn't at the restaurant she nearly turned tail and ran, but instead she followed the directions given her by one of the staff to Danny Brecher's apartment.   
Standing outside the apartment door, she allowed herself one last moment to ponder whether she was doing the right thing. 

He had snapped and snarled at her. In fact, he’d been downright fucking horrible. But why? Joey hardly dared hope that Audrey could be right. Was he jealous of Charlie? Was he trying to fight feelings he still had for her? Only that alone would stop her from ripping him another butt hole for his behavior. And surely if she stood a chance of getting Pacey back, shouldn't she grab it, like Audrey had said?   
With no little amount of trepidation and before she could change her mind, she rang the bell. 

Pacey lay on the couch, one arm across his eyes. Okay, so it seemed he hadn't quite got Joey out of his system yet and now it seemed wise that the less he saw of her the better. Damn, but she could still get under his skin like no one else ever could. First her English professor and now that idiot bass player. Where was her head? 

He puffed out a sigh, raking his hair. He groaned as he thought back over their argument. Yet again, it had gotten out of hand so fast. Pacey jack-knifed up off the couch and paced up and down restlessly. He knew he’d said too much. Low blows not worthy of the new 'mature' Pacey Witter. When he next saw Joey, he’d apologize. Profusely. He had been harsh. A lot harsh. So he would say sorry and that would be an end of it. He had a great thing going with Nora and he didn’t want to ruin that. He ruffled his hair, absentmindedly, while thinking. What he wasn't going to do was let Joey Potter disrupt his life again. He would not fall into that trap a second time. He froze at the shill of the doorbell.

When Pacey opened the door Joey's throat dried up even further as she tried not to let her eyes crawl all over him. He wore a black torso hugging wife beater. His jeans were almost falling off his hips, as the first two buttons were undone. His black boxers were tantalizingly on view. His hair was adorably mussed up, but his face was so grim Joey wondered if she’d interrupted him in the middle of rampant sex with Nora. It was a thought that made her stomach twist bitterly. He looked sexy as hell, which was the last thing she needed as a distraction right now.

She cleared her throat. "We need to talk," she said, surprised at how steady her voice sounded. His brooding stare was unnerving, even though she still felt like kicking his sexy butt for the despicable things he’d said to her during their argument.

"I don't think there's much left to say to each other, do you?" Pacey wondered what happened to his decision to apologize. Maybe if she weren’t staring so accusingly at him he would have said it straight away.

"Make a habit out of acting like a bastard, do you? Yes, we do need to talk. I wouldn't be here, otherwise, would I?" She said, tartly.   
She could bloody whistle for an apology! 

"Can I come in or am I interrupting something?" 

He allowed her in and closed the door. He watched her advance into the room, glance around somewhat nonchalantly, and then turn to face him.

"One of your co-workers at the restaurant told me where I could find you." Joey tried her best to seem cool, calm and collected. "It was nice of your boss-"

"What do you want, Joey?" His voice cut in, abruptly. His face unreadable. 

Joey took a deep breath. "You said some mean things, Pacey." 

"So did you." 

"Yeah, it really was some seriously vitriolic banter." She hesitated. "Did you mean any of it?" 

"Did you?" 

Joey sighed heavily. 

"Where's Nora?" 

"Out of town visiting her parents for the weekend." 

Joey fidgeted with her coat buttons as the silence stretched. She tried not to stare at his body. Just the sight of him leaning there against the door watching her was doing crazy things to her insides.

"I’m not interested in Charlie," she finally said. 

"Yeah, right." 

He was making this so difficult, Joey thought with frustration but she wasn’t going to chicken out this time.

"I’m not interested in anybody - except you." She was rewarded with a snort of disbelief.

He ignored the leap his heart made in his chest. "Don't make me laugh, Joey. Just go home will you." Instead, she stalked over to him. 

"You know, you finished with me! Do you remember that? As I recall it wasn't what I wanted and had nothing to do with Dawson." 

"So that's why it all just happened to blow up while you were dancing with him?" 

Joey shrugged helplessly. 

"You never mentioned Dawson! And then you left Capeside without a word!" 

"Dawson-" 

"Oh, change the record, Pacey! It's getting old!" 

Pacey shook his head, leaning it back against the door and closed his eyes. A moment of silence passed. Swallowing hard she laid a tentative hand against his arm. She felt his flesh turn to steel beneath her hand. His eyes snapped open and he eyed her warily, watched as her hand travelled up his arm to his shoulder. She slowly reached up to kiss him. Her mouth was only a breath away before he gripped her shoulder, pushing her away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He rasped at her. His grip bit into her flesh even through her coat. "I didn’t think it had escaped your attention that I have a girlfriend." She stared up at him mutely, her face red. She didn’t quite trust herself to speak just yet.

"You want me, Potter?" He gave her a curious grin. "Even after our spectacular showdown earlier this evening?" She didn’t answer. "Didn’t I always tell you that our evil banter was merely a form of foreplay?" Joey wrenched her arm away. Pacey pushed off from the door and walked over to the middle of the room to sit on the big brown leather sofa, lounging back.

"This evening has been illuminating. A regular history lesson, in fact." She tried to control the tremor in her voice. She could feel the mad rush of adrenaline coursing through her body. "I’d forgotten just how vile you can be when you put your mind to it."

"Go home Joey. I’m tired. I don't want another argument with you." He rubbed his face before resting his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. He held his breath, waiting to see if she’d leave.

The rustling snapped his eyes back open. He twisted his head to look behind him. Joey was taking her coat and gloves off and now tossed them over to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Pacey swallowed hard and tried not to notice how the cute, pink, printed tee shirt beneath her thin cardigan clung and molded her breasts perfectly.

She crossed over to stand a couple of feet away in front of him, crossing her arms in front of her. 

"How is it that your concern for me and my life always seems to turn so quickly into a heated argument?"

"Well, you've always been a prickly little thing, Jo. You've never taken good advice very well." He looked away rubbing an eye tiredly.

Obnoxious pig, Joey thought. "But why does it always escalate into such a vicious fight?" 

"Goddamit, Jo!" His head shot up. "I don't know and I don't care! Okay?" He tried not to think about why his heart was hammering so hard against his ribs or why he was so nervous about being in the apartment alone with her like this. He was running scared and didn’t want to analyze the reason why.

"Pacey we've been friends a long time now-" 

"Big mistake." 

"What?" 

"Isn't that what you said? We should have remained enemies?" 

"We both said a lot of things-" 

"That we both meant!" He cut in. 

"No!" 

"No?" 

"No! Pacey-" 

This had gone on long enough. Pacey held his hand up for silence and she stopped. "Look Jo. I’m sorry okay? I was going to wait until we’d both had time to cool down and then apologize - again. Just let's not go into who said what, and why, and if they really meant it, okay?"

Joey hesitated a long time, wondering if she should push the point, but in the end nodded. There was more than one way to skin a cat. "I’m sorry, too." 

Another silence. 

"Okay. Good. That's settled. Now...go home." 

"God, Pacey you're such an asshole, sometimes, you know!" 

He couldn't handle this for much longer. He didn’t want to see her or hear her. Not while she was standing there in front of him with that familiar scowl of hers that he’d always thought was sexy. Not while those big gorgeous eyes glared at him and certainly not while she had her arms folded outlining to perfection the perkiness of her breasts and her hip thrown out with attitude.

"Jo, are you sure you want us to remain friends? Because you're really beginning to annoy me, now. You-you shouldn't annoy a man when he's dog-tired. So just...just put your coat on and leave me the hell alone." He rested his head back, sighing and closing his eyes. He really wasn't handling this very well. Maybe he should just-

"What the-!" Pacey squawked, his jaw dropping as Joey straddled him, her knees either side of his hips, digging into the back of the couch. She brought her arms up to rest either side of his head, one hand on the nape of his neck, caressing lightly, the other sliding into his hair. "What do you think you're doing?" His voice rose several octaves. 

She leaned closer, her hair like a curtain fall either side of his face as she looked down at his panic stricken face. She felt the irresistible urge to giggle.

"Oh, are you ready to talk to me now?" She arched a brow at him and could already feel his cock hardening against her and she couldn't help the smile that curved her lips and the devilish gleam that lit her eyes up.

"Yes! Yes! God, Joey! Okay, we'll talk. Now get the hell off me!" His hands gripped her hips, pushing her away, sliding her back a few inches. She in turn pushed back up to her original position.

"Fuck! Joey!" His cock hardened further, throbbing snugly against the seam of her jeans. 

"I wanted your attention." 

"Okay, you've got it now!" 

"And I want to keep it. So I’m staying put." 

"Jo, stop this." He tried to keep his voice steady. It wasn't easy when the pert breasts he’d been admiring earlier were mere inches from his face, when his cock was so near and yet so far from the object of its desire. Because, yes, it was getting more and more difficult to deny that he wanted her desperately.

"Hmm, at least someone's pleased that I’m here." 

"A purely natural reaction. It means nothing." 

"Audrey seems to think there may still be unresolved feelings between us." 

"For you, Joey, unresolved feelings is a phrase synonymous with the word Dawson - not me." Her mouth tightened with displeasure. Her head dipped and she breathed against his ear.

"Something's unresolved otherwise your cock wouldn't be so hard right now. I can feel it, you know." She hid a grin as she felt it jump in response. She leaned back again. "This has nothing to do with Dawson." She said, adamantly.

Pacey closed his eyes briefly. The word 'cock' falling from Joey's lips released an extra rush of blood to his groin "Are you telling me that you'd be straddling my lap if Dawson was free and available?"

"Would your dick be jumping so hard if you and Nora were the perfect, happy couple?" 

"Bitch!" He breathed, shifting irritably beneath her which only made him feel even hornier. "Just where the hell is all this coming from, Joey?"

Her voice became serious. "Pacey, I know this is wrong, believe me. You have a girlfriend...but what I’m trying to tell you -" She balked suddenly at laying herself out in the open so freely.

"In your own inimitable way, is?" he prompted, between clenched teeth. 

"I’m still in love with you. I-I want you back." There! She’d said it and watched his face carefully. 

He shook his head with disbelief.

She looked disconcerted for a second, and then gave him a quick crooked smile. Her eyes and voice turned smoky, honing in straight to his groin. "Bite me, Pacey." 

He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He wanted so badly to thrust his pelvis up against her. To grab her by the hips and drag her back and forth along his hard, aching length, but he didn’t dare. He wanted to throw her off him, and haul her lying ass out of the apartment, and end this mad charade right now. He wanted to push her top up, cup her breasts, knead them, put his mouth to their nipples and suckle hungrily to his heart’s content. He thought of Nora and closed his eyes briefly with shame and guilt.

"Jo, please." 

"Please what?" She whispered against his mouth. He was a goner. He knew it, but he had to try and there was usually only one magic word...

"Dawson-" 

"This has nothing to do with him!" 

"Oh yes-" 

"No! I don't want to discuss him! This is me and you, Pacey!" 

"Jo-" 

"I’m not talking anymore, Pacey," she warned, remembering his own similar words to her three years ago before he’d kissed her on the side of the road on the way to Capeside and as he opened his mouth to protest she closed her own over his. 

He returned it, hungrily.

And from that moment, there was no hesitation. The hunger was too fierce. Pacey immediately stripped Joey of her tops, his face in her cleavage before he reached round to unclip her bra. Joey threw her head back, sliding hard up and down against his cock. She felt the cold air rushing in to envelop her bare breasts and then the hot sensation of Pacey's mouth and hands covering them. She shuddered violently, whispering Pacey's name. They rocked hard, frustrated with the thick denim layers between their bodies, but too caught up in the sizzling sensations the friction was firing up between them. Joey clasped Pacey's head to her breasts. He needed no urging. He sucked, licked and pulled on one nipple while one hand massaged the other. She was already teetering on the edge.

"Fuck! Pacey! I’m already close!" 

He gritted his teeth. "Me too!" He muttered. His hands came down to fumble with his flies, but Joey kept rocking. 

"Jo, wait-." he moaned, but his hands stilled at his flies, as he leaned back, watching Joey rock over him with her breasts swaying. He raised his eyes to hers. The sultry heat that filled them gazed right back at him and when she raised her hands to her nipples to fondle them, eyeballing him, Pacey felt his pulse ricochet sky high.

"Arrghh, fuck!" He felt his engorged cock jerking at his involuntary release. Pacey banged his head back several times against the sofa, panting heavily - and then he didn’t care, because now he got to watch Joey whimper and moan, and writhe on him as she rode, clutching his shoulders in the throes of her own climax. 

"Sorry!" she gasped. "I couldn't. No, I’m not-not really sorry at all," she panted, leaning against his shoulder. “That felt too good." Before she could gather herself, Pacey caught her under the arms and slid her off him. He fumbled with the buttons of her jeans and pulled them off in one. His eyes glittered under hooded eyes as he took in her very brief pale pink panties. He swallowed hard when Joey very slowly and very deliberately opened her legs.

Did she have any idea how beautiful she looked right now, hair disheveled around her face, her body flushed with color, her breasts engorged, with her dark nipples standing up hard, begging for his mouth again. The sticky discomfort in his pants was momentarily forgotten as he watched her trail her fingers around one pebble hard nipple and then trailed them down over her ribcage and stomach. Gently, they slithered up and down over the soaked strip of material hiding that part of her he was more than ready to bury his mouth against.

He watched, his breathing fast and shallow, his eyes flickering between her busy fingers and her eyes, which were trained on him, as she circled her clit. He flicked open his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, his gaze never leaving her and pushed off his jeans boxers, wiping himself off before tossing it away. He stripped off his vest. He was beautiful, and had filled out over the summer. His shoulders were broader, his biceps bigger, the smooth planes over his chest and stomach toned and muscular. Joey's fingers played between her legs as her eyes lowered to his lap. Oh, god, yes, he was beautiful.

"Did you miss me?" he asked, moving over her, settling on the floor between her legs. 

"Yes. Every part of me missed you!" He relieved her hand of its task, bringing her fingers to his lips and kissing their tips. She slid them into his hair and urged his head forward. 

"What exactly are you trying to tell me, Potter?" Pacey gave a mock frown before grinning at her mock scowl. 

"Pacey!" 

He cocked an eyebrow at her and then hooking his fingers in the sides of her panties, he pulled them off. Slowly, his hands slid up her thighs and over her hipbones, pulling her toward him as his head came down. Her hips were already rising to meet him. He brushed his lips against her and slipped his tongue out, searching for the sensitive nub. She smelled as good as he remembered and tasted even better. There it was, throbbing. He parted her lips and swept his tongue up and down, and up again to flick her clit. At the same time, he slipped one, then two fingers inside her, crooking his fingertips slightly as he thrust them in and out. Joey gasped aloud, grinding her hips up.

"Mmm, come on, Potter..." 

And she obliged, right on cue, shuddering and panting. He crawled back up her body, kissing and licking her skin all the way up to her mouth where they indulged in a long bout of kissing. Eventually Joey pulled away.

"Mmm, I need a drink. My mouth feels as dry as a desert. I’m parched." She said, running her hands over his shoulders and biceps. 

"I think I have a remedy for that."

"I can guess what that is!" She smacked him lightly on the arm before pushing him back and rising from the sofa and walking away. 

Pacey slumped back on it, his eyes following the sway of her hips, the tight curves of her bottom, and found himself getting up and following her into the kitchen area. He was unable to prevent his hands from caressing over the bottom cheeks he’d admired and then round her waist to splay his hands over her stomach as she reached for a glass and filled it with water. She twisted in his arms to face him, still drinking from the glass of water in her hand. Leaving half of it, she handed it to him. He smiled his thanks, taking the glass from her but keeping one arm around her waist. As he threw his head back and gulped its contents down his eyes fell on the nearby kitchen table and stayed there for a long second. 

Leaning past her to set the glass in the sink, dropping a brief kiss on her shoulder in the process, he took her hand and led her to the table. Joey threw him a puzzled frown.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5. (Sexually explicit content and language)  
> Pacey and Joey continue their reunion. Pacey feels guilty when their secret is discovered.

"I know that look. What are you up to?" Her stomach flipped happily at the charming smile he gave her. 

"I’ve always admired this table." He mused, picking up the bowl of fruit at its centre and setting it down on the side counter.

"You have?" 

"Uh huh. Its long lines, its smooth, shiny surface, and of course its evident sturdiness." 

"Um..." Joey trailed off as Pacey pushed a nearby bar stool out of their way. Joey began to laugh and her eyes lit up with dawning realization. "Pacey! You are incorrigible!"

"Thank you!" He kissed her as she leaned against the edge of the table's end. 

"Your boss has to eat off this table, Pacey!" she gasped, against his lips as he lifted her up onto it so that she was now sat on its cool surface. She shivered slightly.

"As I intend to!" he murmured seductively back at her. 

Not that she really cared. Already his hands were in her hair, stroking, as he insinuated his body between her legs. Already his cock was hard. She felt it brush against her leg. And already she could feel the hunger for him stealing through her body again, heating up her blood. The table's surface was no longer cool against the skin. She pulled him to her, clasping her legs around him as she thrust her tongue into his mouth. No inhibitions here. She threw them away the moment she decided to surprise Pacey and straddle him. Here, like this, she could show him how much she wanted him. How much she loved him. 

She let her hands explore the planes of muscles in his shoulders and back, slipping down to knead his bottom. Oh, he had a great ass! 

She rubbed her breasts against his chest as he deepened their kiss and swept his hands up and down caressingly over her hips, thighs and waist. She loved to hear him moan. Proof that she affected him. That she could drive him as crazy as he drove her. She hadn't forgotten any of it. And she wanted it all again.

He pushed her down onto the table, her hair fanning out about her. He gazed down on her. "You are beautiful." 

Moving back, he lifted her legs and then moved back into her, lifting them to rest on his shoulders. Slowly, gently, he ran his hands up and down her legs and thighs. She raised one leg, pointing her toes. He grasped her foot, bringing it to his mouth, kissing the side of her instep, trailing tiny, perfect kisses along her ankle and calf. She sighed his name, pulling her foot away now, trailing her toes down his chest and stomach till she could nestle them, against his balls, massaging gently as his crisp, wiry hairs tickled the sole of her foot. Then she slid her foot up against his erection.

"Hussy..." He grasped her ankle and drew her leg back up to his shoulder. 

"Haven't you forgotten something?" She arched a brow at him.

In three seconds, he was back at the table with a condom and fitting it on. Placing her legs on his shoulders and pressing his body in closer to her, he slid easily into her and she released a trembling sigh. Gripping her hips, he took up a slow steady rhythm, watching the flush of heat and color spreading over her skin and the sweet juddering of her breasts as he pumped into her. It felt so good, sliding in against her slick, tight walls and feeling the slap of skin meeting skin. She let her legs drop to clasp them around him, matching him stroke for stroke as much as her position would allow. She dug her heels into his butt. She wanted it faster and...

"Harder, Pacey" she moaned and gave a cry of protest as he slowed his strokes, letting his cock slide right out to the tip before plunging inside her again.

"Pacey..." 

Again and again, he slid out, withholding what she silently begged for, holding back longer each time. He grinned as her hand flew down to let her fingers dance over her clit. He upped the tempo again; both of them bathed in a filmy sheen of sweat, slamming hard and fast. Joey arched as ecstasy approached. As it came upon her in a blinding, white-hot flood, his name spilled from her lips in a panting litany, ascending into a high pitched scream. A second later, Pacey's satisfaction expended itself in a guttural cry, no less energy sapping than Joey's. He lay panting over her for a second before lavishing kisses against her mouth that she returned with equal fervor for long seconds before they collapsed again to catch their breath.

"Mickey Rourke's got nothing on you!" Joey giggled, when she could manage to speak. 

"Heh! Fantastic." He grinned at her, planting a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"It was kind of amazing! So much so, that I don't think I can move. Right now, I’m just a sated puddle of melted goo!" 

"You're gonna have to. Let's hit the shower. Here." He straightened and reached out for her hands, pulling her up to a sitting position.

She rested her head against his chest and pouted up at him as he carefully drew off the condom and threw it in the nearby bin.

"Carry me." 

"What do you think I’m made of woman? Steel?" 

"Hmm,' she tipped her head back, 'your cock's just given a very good impression of its steel like abilities. Can't the rest of you?"

"Flattery will get you nowhere. Come on, you lightweight." He pulled her to standing position, steadying her as she swayed. She continued to gaze doe-eyed up at him.

"You always think the eyes are gonna get me, but it's not gonna work. Uh, uh!" She leaned into his body, her fingers tip-toeing up and around his neck as she sinuously rubbed her body against him.

"I don't know what you mean." 

"Yes, you do. You're giving me the eyes. You always give me the eyes when you're trying to get me to give in to your devious female manipulations."

"If I promise to suck on you as if your cock is the sweetest, stickiest, meltiest ice-cream I’ve ever tasted, would you carry me then?" she whispered into his ear and couldn't help the smirk that crooked up the side of her mouth.

"Nah, I’m gonna get that anyway." 

As she made to take a swipe at his head, he ducked and slipped an arm around her back, the other under her knees and hefted her up into his arms. She grinned happily into his face.

"Don't take this for a habit now," he warned. 

"Why not? You're so easy!" 

Holding on to her tightly he stepped away from the table and spun around, making Joey clutch him as she squealed. 

"Pacey!" 

He did it again. Her hair fanned out as she ducked her head into his chest. 

"Stop it! You'll get dizzy and fall over." She cried breathlessly, loving the feel of his strong arms around her and his hard body against hers.

I already did that the day I fell for you, Potter. He thought it, but he didn’t say it. Instead he crushed her mouth with a kiss and carried her into the bedroom.

She stroked down his body, as they lay on the bed, her hair trailing after her hands which then gripped his cock firmly. She slid the flat of her tongue up the underside of the length of his cock and swirled it around its crown, teasing its moist slit at its tip. Holding his gaze, she did the same a number of times, slowly, lingeringly and with evident enjoyment.

Pacey licked his dry lips for the umpteenth time, anticipating the moment her mouth would slide over him completely, sucking him in. He groaned at the thought, remembering the first time Joey had sucked him off. He remembered how he could barely comprehend that Joey, pure, virginal, prudish Joey had, tentatively at first, but with growing finesse and enthusiasm, taken his cock between her beautiful, wet, sensual lips. Two seconds later, his balls had threatened to empty their contents into her mouth as if he were some uncouth teenager and he’d cried out hoarsely with the effort to keep control. 

The cavern of her mouth had been hot like an oven and he’d felt like he’d died and gone to heaven as she sucked, and licked, tapped and swirled. He’d succeeded in keep control for another ten seconds or so before he’d had to shove her head away and pay her back in return. He remembered the feeling of satisfaction and pleasure it gave him to hear her crying out his name over and over as she climaxed time after time from the ministrations of his tongue buried against her clit and his cock sheathed to the hilt inside her. 

What a memory. A hot and horny Joey, writhing about under his hands and tongue, crying out his name. It gave him a buzz like no other. Now here she was doing the same again - exactly how she knew he liked it.

"Joey." He breathed, feeling the buildup. He cupped her cheek, his thumb, caressing softly. Her eyes fluttered closed as her mouth worked its magic, playing with his balls, adjusting a lick here and there, increasing the suction of her mouth in tune to the change in his breathing and a soft command from him till he spilled into her mouth, groaning with pleasure. She sucked and swallowed, lay on her side with her head propped up, her mouth curled in a small smile.

Her gaze wandering lazily over his body, as he reached into the bedside table drawer and drew his hand out again. He held his clenched fist over her and let go a shower of condoms over her stomach and the bed. They stared into each other’s eyes.  
He couldn't stop now even if he wanted to. He intended they tear open as many of these shiny foil packets as they could get through. Joey wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

Okay, he allowed her an hour or two. She needed to keep her energy up because he couldn't seem to keep his hands off her. It was as if there were no tomorrow and they were trying to do as much as they possibly could before the night ended. After another long, hot, soapy shower they migrated back to the bedroom, falling into Brecher's king-size bed, and an exhausted slumber.

A couple of hours later Pacey was in the midst of what he thought was a pleasurable dream. Joey's mouth was working sweetly on his cock. He opened his eyes to find it was no dream. He groaned and laughed at the same time.

"You wench. Come here." Joey paused in her ministrations. "Don't you want me to carry on doing this?" She grinned at him, one of her full wattage smiles and licked all around the crown of his shaft as if she were licking a dripping ice-cream. She watched him watch her, saw his eyes darken and become heavy lidded with desire.

"No,' he needed to clear his throat, 'I want you to come up here." But it did nothing to change the low husky timbre of his voice which made her stomach do flip flops and sent a tingle down her spine and into her groin. "I want you to slide down on the cock that your expert ministrations have hardened to rocklike proportions and fuck me." 

"Oh, is that all?" she said airily, a hand still holding its base, as she brushed her lips back and forth across the smooth tip. 

"No, then I want you to sit on my face and wiggle those sweet, pussy lips over my mouth. Over and over and -."

"Pacey!" Joey tried to hold back the giggles behind her fierce exclamation. She blushed fiery red, nevertheless, which delighted him.

"What?" he frowned at her in mock innocence. "You admonish me like some you're some kind of prude. May I remind you what you're holding in your hand, err, note the sheer size of it, too, and what you were doing with it a mere few minutes ago?"

Joey stared mutinously at him. 

"Come here, Joey." Pacey growled. "Come and sit on my face." 

"Pig!" Joey crawled up his body and smacked his chest. 

"Ow!" He grabbed her and they rolled around on the bed, Joey squealing, fists flailing uselessly. 

Finally, he pinned her to the bed, gripping each wrist to hold her down. He nuzzled into her neck, licking and blowing up her throat to do the same to her ear. She moaned.

"Give up?" 

"Yes." She sighed. 

"Aww, you're too easy!" He trailed his mouth across to hers. 

"All the easier to lull you into my clutches," she murmured. 

"Mmm, I love your clutches. They turn me on!" He pushed his tongue into her mouth stifling her chuckle. The kiss was deep and passionate and as it continued, he hooked her knees over his arms in the crook of his elbow either side of his body. He swore, and let her go to snatch up another condom, ripping it open. He raised his eyebrows at her while he slid it on. He’d almost forgotten! If he got Joey pregnant, she’d kick his ass to kingdom come! He came down beside her now, kissing the tip of her nose. 

"Come here..." She allowed him to turn her over and he pulled her into his body, her back against his chest. He pulled her hair back so he could softly kiss her neck and shoulders, inhaling the sweet smell of her skin. Joey. Joey was in his arms again. In his bed. He couldn't think beyond this moment, the here and now. Later would have to take care of itself.

"Are you alright?" she asked, sensing a shift in mood. She turned her head to look at him. He dropped a kiss on her mouth and pulled her bottom closer into the cradle of his hips, slipping a leg between her own. His lips continued to plunder her neck and nibble on her earlobe, and a hand sneaked over her nearest breast, molding it and teasing her nipple. She could feel his growing erection against her bottom.

"I want to be inside you again, Jo." She shifted position, raising her leg slightly, allowing Pacey to find his way inside her. They sighed simultaneously and struck up a familiar, easy rhythm with Pacey occasionally brushing his lips along her neck and shoulders, his hand lightly gripping her hip. As Joey grew near to orgasm he deepened his strokes, his tongue nuzzled behind her ear, he knew she loved that.

"Pacey..." she panted. "This...this is us now, isn't it? Remember what you said that spring?" She gasped out loud, as he licked her ear again. "There's an ‘us’ here now. Re-remember th-that, Pacey?" His hand on her hip came down to play with the shy curls between her legs. "Oh! Pa...cey." His fingers drew light, lazy circles around her clit, and then applied a little pressure as he scraped a finger across the throbbing nub over and over. Joey bucked against him, her body drowning in delicious spasms that soon triggered his own climax.  
Disposing of the used condom, he drew her close to his body, wrapping his arms around her. 

"I...don't want to lose you again, Pace." She mumbled, sleepily. "Don't want... to...lose you." She drifted off. 

"You got me, Potter." He sighed. His arms tightened about her as his own lids began to droop. "You always had me." 

 

Joey was still sleeping. Pacey slipped his arm out carefully from under her and lay back, face up, arms crossed behind his head.  
He was glad that he had to be up early for work. No lingering in bed, where he’d be tempted to make love to her again. Because now, the cold light of day was creeping in with the dawn; creeping into his heart and conscience with a heavy accompanying sick feeling.  
The moment Nora's back was turned, he’d cheated on her. Pacey closed his eyes and sighed with silent regret. He turned his head slightly to watch Joey. Regret for betraying Nora. 

But try as he might, he couldn't regret last night with Joey and that was his biggest problem. He eased out of bed, but Joey stirred, sensing the loss of warmth. 

"Pacey?" she voice slurred with sleep. 

"I’ve got to get ready for work. Go back to sleep." 

"But...it's so early. Do you have to go?" She half sat up. He looked at her in the fading darkness, her hair adorably disheveled around her sleepy face.

He fought the urge to say to hell with work and slip back into bed with her. "Afraid so. I’ll call you later, okay?" She nodded drunkenly, and flopped back down, asleep again in seconds. After one last long look at her, Pacey busied himself getting ready for work. 

 

"Jo,” he began tiredly, I don’t want to discuss this." He unlocked the door to Brecher’s apartment, opened it and Joey followed him in. He knew he was acting like a moron, but couldn’t seem to help it.

"You can’t run away from this!"

"I’m not trying to! I just have to speak to Nora first before I do anything else. She’s the wronged one in all this, Joey and I don’t want to make things worse." He dashed his jacket on a nearby chair and as Joey did the same with her own, he glared at her. "I don’t want you to stay." He growled.

"Why?" She came up to him and he went back a step. "Scared you might want to fuck me again?" They stood staring each other down and their desire for each other stood between them. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her again. He’d thought of almost nothing else since they’d last been together two nights ago. But Nora’s face kept haunting him. He wasn’t going to succumb a second time until he’d sorted things out with her first. 

"Don’t be a selfish bitch, Joey. I know its second nature to you, but try to think about Nora’s feelings and the difficult position I’m in here. I feel like a fucking heel!"

"There’s no need to insult me! Or to treat me like it's all my fault! You’ve been avoiding me since it happened. And that’s not fair on me!"

"Okay! Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry-"

"I just want to know where I stand! Where we stand. I’m not treating this as lightly as you seem to think!"

"Okay! I just didn’t need the distraction."

"Of me?"

"Yes, dammit! I wanted to keep a clear head."

"What are you going to say to Nora?"

"I’ve got to speak to her first-"

"Bloody hell, Pacey!" Joey exploded with fear and frustration. Was he trying to pull away from her? "It’s like trying to draw blood from a stone! I’m not asking for much!"

"Jo! Jo!" Pacey hands came down, all conciliatory, on her arms, rubbing gently. "I’m not trying to shake you off. Let me talk to Nora first. She deserves that. She’s back tomorrow -."

"But can’t you at least-?"

"Jo, I don’t need this right now." Pacey groaned. "I’ve just come off a long shift and I’m really tired." There was a pregnant pause.

"How tired?" Joey asked quietly, unable to hide the catch in her voice. She quivered inwardly at her boldness, but she couldn’t help it. Pacey made her feel desperate. Right now she needed the reassurance of his arms about her, needed the heat of his mouth on hers, to prove he wanted her. She knew what he was saying was right. It wasn’t fair on Nora, but Joey just couldn’t seem to help herself. She’d lost Pacey once before and she didn’t want it to happen again. She didn’t want to lose this chance. Her hand came out, reaching, curving at his cheek, her thumb brushing ever so lightly along his lips. He squeezed his eyes closed, nuzzling his nose into the palm of her hand.

"Jo."

Her other hand came up to curl around his waist, pulling him forward her and she reached up with her mouth to cover his.

Just one kiss, Pacey thought, just one.

Joey moaned softly. No one had ever made her feel the way Pacey did. Evoked such passion within her. She pulled him back with her until they reached the back of the sofa. His hands were in her hair, against her head, controlling the kiss, deepening it. He sucked her tongue into his mouth. She thrust her pelvis against his erection.

"Not too tired then?" She panted, drawing back to grin at him.

"Obviously not!"

They froze, parted, slowly turning toward the direction of the intruding voice. Pacey already knew who it was and felt his stomach drop with a sickening sensation. 

"Nora." She walked past, ignoring them. Pacey saw the slight tremor in her hand as she reached out and picked up her coat from the sofa. She walked around it and the small coffee table to get to the door. Pacey suddenly came back to life and dashed over, catching hold of her arm. She shook him off angrily.

"Don’t you dare!" She seethed. He dropped his hand.

"Nora-."

"No!" Then throwing a contemptuous glance at Joey she wrenched the door open and left. Pacey closed the door behind her and rested against it looking shell-shocked.

"I-I’m sorry." Joey began, haltingly. "That was my fault."

"You weren’t alone in it, Jo." He said, wearily.

"But I started it. I’m sorry." She took a shaky breath. "I suppose I should be glad she didn’t try to bitch-slap me."

"I think she could take you, too."

Joey grimaced. She continued to watch his face. 

"I can’t believe this."

"W-what are you going to do?"

"I have to talk to her."

"Pacey, give her time to calm down." He came over and slumped down onto the sofa.

"She was in the fucking bathroom the whole time." He whispered with disbelief. "God! She must have heard everything we said!" He dropped his head into his hands, raking his hair. Joey gingerly sat next to him.

"You weren’t to know. We weren’t to know-"

"Her coat was on the sofa right here. We didn’t even fucking notice! Too wrapped up in ourselves." 

Joey slid an arm around his back.

"I feel horrible."

"Imagine how I feel and times it by a hundred. No! A million! Fuck!" He shouted, making Joey jump.

"At least she knows now. I mean, it wasn’t the ideal way to find out, but you were going to tell her weren’t you?"

"I was going to finish with her. I couldn’t continue seeing her when I knew I still had feelings for you."

"Well, then."

"She didn’t deserve that, Joey."

"I know."

"She’s going to hate me."

"Pacey you do want to be with me, don’t you? You do want us to get back together?"

"What do you think? You think I’d sleep with you and break up with her for nothing?" He barked at her. He stood up abruptly. Joey felt the prick of tears behind her eyes.

He looked down at her bowed head and stifled a sigh. 

"I’m sorry." He sat back down and slipped an arm around her shoulder, pressing a kiss against the side of her head. 

"It's okay." She blinked away her tears. "It was a bit of a shock, wasn't it? Getting caught like that." 

"I can't just leave it, though. I need to see her. Now." 

Joey leaned in and kissed him briefly. 

"You go. Do what you have to do." He nodded. "Find me later and let me know how it went." 

"Okay." They stood, collected their coats and left the flat and building. Pausing outside they faced each other somewhat awkwardly for their goodbye. 

"See you later, then." Pacey finally said. He let his hand rest on her shoulder for a second, then walked away. Joey watched after him for a moment, a worried frown etched on her brow, then slowly turned and walked away in the other direction.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5.  
> Pacey and Nora have a sad postmortem on their relationship. Dawson has surprising news for Joey and stirs the pot.

"Nora! Nora! If you’re in there open the door, please!" Pacey banged on her dorm door. "Please!"

The door swung open and Nora’s roommate stood there. She gave Pacey a filthy look before stepping past him and striding up the corridor. The door was still open. Nora stood at the window, her back to him, arms wrapped around herself. Pacey stepped in and closed the door.

"Nora?"

"Is there really anything more to say, Pacey?" She said, sadness tingeing her voice.

"I know you want to rip my head off right now and I’ll let you do that. I deserve it."

"I was thinking more along the lines of castration." She turned. She wasn’t crying, but the strain on her features was evident. "Charlie has nothing on you, Pacey."

The words cut deep because he would never have put himself on a par with that snake. But he deserved the insult. He took a step towards her, but her freezing glare stopped him.

"I’m sure he didn’t intend for either myself or Jen to get hurt - just for him to have his cake and eat it." 

"That wasn’t what I was doing-"

"No? When exactly were you going to let me in on the secret?"

"Nora, I was going to talk to you as soon as you got back."

"To finish things, right?" Her eyes pinned on his face, big and luminous, in her face. He stared at the floor.

"Right, Pacey?" She prompted when he didn’t answer. He looked up.

"Yes." She barely heard him. Her hand rose and she dashed something at him. Pacey just caught it. 

"Here! Take this back. I won't be needing it again before Danny gets back, will I? I guess that's one surprise you weren't expecting today!" 

Pacey looked down at the spare key to Danny Brecher's flat. 

"Were you even going to tell me you were dumping me for Joey? Were you going to confess you’d fucked her while I was away?"

"Nora-"

"When?"

"Please-"

"Tell me! The moment my back was turned, Pacey?"

"Don’t-"

"When did it happen? How soon after I left?" She saw the flush darkening his cheeks and she felt her stomach twist bitterly.

"I deserve to know all the gory details!"

"It happened Nora. Just the once. One time too many. That’s all-"

"That’s all? That’s all? But I want to know when! Was it that same night I left?" She was in front of him now, inches away, shaking, finally crying. She thumped his chest with her fist. "Was it? Was it, Pacey?"

"Yes!" He shouted. "Yes! But it wasn't planned!" 

She exhaled a harsh breath at his answer. "You just couldn't resist! You just couldn't help yourself! Don't touch me!" She turned away blindly towards her bed as he reached out a hand to her. Pacey was right behind her. He curved an arm around her waist and she shoved at him. Instead, he hugged her struggling form to him, pulling her head to his chest.

"I’m sorry!" He said again. She started to sob in earnest against his chest. He gently stroked her hair, bitterly angry with himself and trying to keep at bay his own threatening tears.

Finally the hiccoughing subsided, the sniffles faded. Her breathing evened, but then she found his unique scent invading her nostrils, the warm, firm muscles of his chest beneath her hands and face, which evoked another round of fresh tears. She wanted to clutch onto him and never let go. But it was too late. It was all in ruins now. Joey had won. She forced herself to draw back from him. She should have known from the beginning that she was fighting a losing battle. But she wasn't going to embarrass herself and lose it big time in front of him. She sat on the bed while he stood awkwardly in front of her watching her bent head.

"It's okay, Pacey. I think I’ve gotten it all out of my system now. I don't hate you." She sighed, tremulously. 

"I wouldn't blame you if you did." He walked away back into the middle of the room and Nora felt a panicky fluttering in her stomach. Was he leaving now? She didn’t want him to! She stood up abruptly and he looked over at her. So serious.

"Believe me, Nora, you're the last person in the world I wanted to hurt." 

"Then why did you?" Pacey watched her, saw the pain in every line of her stiff frame. He wanted to just envelop her in his arms and rock the hurt away. This is where his own obsession with Joey had taken him, hurting this beautiful, warm girl. He shook his head. 

"I don't know." He whispered. 

"Don't you?" She said, knowingly. 

"If it - if it had been anyone else but Joey, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now." 

"I know that. It happened because it was Joey. I actually believe you, Pacey."

He swallowed and rushed on. "I know that's no consolation and it's a shitty thing to even admit - god - Nora. I’m-I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what to say to you. Nora, I care for you so much -" 

"But you're in love with Joey..." She finished, sadly. He looked so tortured. 

He didn’t deny it, though. He realized now that as much as he cared for Nora, he’d been using her as a shield against his feelings for Joey. Feelings he’d been afraid to admit to, afraid to analyze and examine, afraid to face and deal with. He was supposed to have spent months at sea getting over her. But it hadn’t worked.

Nora moved closer, inches away from him. They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. He saw how bravely she was trying to combat her emotions and in his, she saw how his pain and regret darkened his blue eyes almost to black.

"You deserve better-." 

"Don't Pacey! I happen to think you deserve better than Joey, but you can't help the way you feel, can you?" She saw him wince.

"No good will come of it." He stated flatly.

"She loves you, too." She saw his skeptical frown. "I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Hell! I’ve seen the dagger looks she's thrown at me! She wants you alright."

"Only because Dawson is with Jen. If they were to split up she’d run straight back to him." 

"I don’t believe that. Not if she loves you." 

"Nora, you don't know what it's like with those two. I do!" He cried out, suddenly. "I’ve been there from the beginning. Hell! I helped-." He stopped, abruptly. "Wait. What the hell is wrong with me?" He berated himself, looking on at Nora with self-disgust. "I am not doing this! I am not that insensitive. I’m not going to talk to you about my feelings for Joey!" He turned away, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"I’m still your friend." She whispered. It was actually the last thing she wanted to do, but she couldn't let go of him yet. The more he talked the longer he’d be here with her and she’d let him talk the hind leg off a donkey about Joey if it meant she could delay his walking out of her life.

"Why?" he asked, his voice a hoarse whisper. She reached up and with her thumb gently wiped away a stray tear that escaped his eye then rested her cupped palm against his cheek.

"I love you." She said simply. "Nothing's going to change that. That's the way I feel about you, Pacey. But I know that's the way you feel about Joey. And I accept that." She reached up and softly kissed the corner of his mouth. He held onto her as if for dear life, buried his face in her hair. Then suddenly thrust himself away, his back to her as he fought for breath and control, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes.

"Don't let me do this to you, Nora." He made towards the door, but she ran past him, blocking his way.

"Wait! Don’t go. Come and sit down a sec. Please." She said, hoping he couldn't hear the touch of desperation in her voice. She took his arm again, after a moment’s hesitation he let her lead him to her bed. He hid his face in his hands. Tentatively, she laid a hand on this knee.

Finally he looked at her and smiled weakly. "Looks like you're as much of a glutton for punishment as I am. I bet you wish you'd never come to my boat party! Never set eyes on me." His breath hitched, still trying to keep at bay the overwhelming feelings, the threat of tears. 

"Pacey,' she smiled wryly, 'I knew even then that Joey was an issue. I saw it in your eyes when you looked at her. I heard it in your voice when you spoke about True Love. And I wanted to kiss away the frown it brought to your face." He closed his eyes as her fingers touched the lines between his brows. "I wanted to smooth away the pained line to your lips." Her fingers ever so gently did just that, smoothing across his mouth. "And to soothe the pain in your voice." Her fingers trailed away down his throat. He opened his eyes and stared into hers. "I walked into this with my eyes wide open. I don't regret a single second." She added fiercely, willing him to believe it. 

Pacey looked on her with bewilderment. She’d known even then? And had still wanted him? Why was he in love with Joey and not Nora? She was everything he could want in a woman. She was beautiful, sexy, funny, and vibrant. More than a match for him. She stirred his blood like no other woman had - except for Joey. Where was his head, for goodness sake? His heart ached at the thought of hurting her, leaving her. Was Joey worth all of this?

"Why?" 

"I thought she’d had her chance and blown it. I thought I could make you happy-." 

"You did!" 

"I thought I could drive you crazy enough to make you love me." The sadness that tinged her voice speared his heart. 

"Nora -"

"I thought - I thought I could make you forget her." She tried to laugh, but her eyes swam, glistening. "It was a valiant effort even-even if I do s-say so myself. It nearly worked, didn’t it?" She smiled tremulously.

"You have no idea just how close you came, Nora." He took her hand and raised her palm to his mouth, kissed it softly, reverently. He watched her tears trickle slowly down her cheeks. He let her hand go, and she raised it to his cheek, caressing him, buried it in his hair.

This was wrong he thought and not fair on her. He stood abruptly and her hand fell away. There was no easy way to end it. This was just prolonging the agony. He should just go. 

"W-what are you going to do about Joey? Are you going to see her now?" She held her breath. She didn’t want him to go straight to a joyful reunion with Joey. She would be here alone thinking about them and exactly how they were celebrating being together again. Knowing that he’d never kiss or touch her in that way again. Knowing that there would always be an awkwardness between them now. It would never be the same. It hurt to know that.

"No, I don’t think so. I need time to myself, to think about what I’m going to do."

"What you should do?" She asked in spite of herself. "Don’t you want her?" Stupid question Nora. You know he wants her. You know he’s in love with her. He can’t be with you feeling that way for someone else. What he does now is really none of your business. He turned away and went over to the door.

"I-I’m sorry. It’s not really any of my business now." She followed him to the door and stood looking up at him. Her heart was in her throat. This was it. This was the moment. He would walk out of that door now, walk out of her life as Pacey Witter her lover, her friend, her heart and become Pacey Witter the stranger.

"Pacey?"

"Hmm?" He stared at the doorknob in his hand, his jaw set like stone.

"Kiss me, please." She wanted her lasting memory of Pacey to be the feel of his warm lips on hers, his strong arms around her body. "I’m not too bitter, or too hurt to ask that of you." She said at the slight shake of his head. 

"Nora-" He finally looked at her sadly.

"Please." She held his eyes determinedly. "See, I’m not too proud to beg either."

"I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have."

"Kiss me good-bye." 

His hands came up and gently framed her face. 

Slowly their lips met, her eyes fluttered closed and she gave herself up to it. It was sweet and gentle; and it broke her heart a little more. He let her savor it as long as she wanted and he let her pull away first. Her arms slid around his waist and she laid her head against his chest.

"Hold me." She whispered. His arms came around her and held her tightly. He buried his face in her hair, inhaled its fragrant scent, nuzzled it and then dropped a soft kiss upon it. Slowly, reluctantly, Nora drew away.

"Thank you."

"Don’t. I don't deserve it. And you’ve nothing to thank me for, Nora. If anything, I should thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life. I wish-" 

Her finger came up to his lips stopping his words.

"No wishing. Just go now Pacey. And know that as much as I feel for you right now, I don’t want to have to see you again for a very long time. Y-you understand, don’t you?"

He couldn’t trust himself to speak and merely nodded. He looked deep into her beautiful brown eyes. Then turned and left. Nora closed the door quickly behind him, leaned back against it for a moment, fighting the tears that threatened before carefully making her way over to her bed. She sat there for a moment, swallowing convulsively. Her throat ached from the unshed tears. Slowly, she lifted the coverlet, slipped beneath it, and allowed her pillow to soak up her tears and muffle her sobs.

 

"What? Why are you telling me this Dawson? You make it sound like you came to see me especially to tell me this news."

"Well, yes, partly."

"Well, I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you and Jen. Really, I am. But -"

"Joey, when my dad died I pushed you away. I pushed away the one person who I should have leaned on as my rock to get me through that grief. I’m sorry. Me and Jen, well…"

"Dawson, you don’t have to explain anything to me. You felt the way you felt. You acted accordingly and moved on. So did I."

"Joey, you’re not listening - what do you mean so did you?"

"I-I’m with somebody now, Dawson?"

"Who?" He shot at her.

"You found Jen again and I found Pacey."

"You have got to be kidding me." 

Joey looked him in the eye. "I’m with Pacey." 

"Joey, you can’t be serious. I just read your published essay!"

"Dawson that was a year ago! And if you hadn’t been here when Professor Wilder dropped that journal off you’d never have seen it." She looked down and shifted from foot to foot. "Frankly, it embarrasses me now."

"How can you say that? It’s what you truly felt. Honest emotions."

"That no longer applies to the here and now, Dawson." Her head shot up as she injected a fearsome earnestness into her voice.

"But Pacey? God, Jo, have you no pride? Have you forgotten -"

"Dawson "

"What about Nora?"

"Gone the same way as Jen, I imagine."

"Jo, I can’t "

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Dawson stood back, barely able to contain himself as Joey went to see who it was.

"Professor Wilder twice in one day. I’m honored."

"Hey Joey. I have to stop by my office before I go home. Walk with me. I know the project is finished, but there are some interesting little-" He stopped as he noticed Dawson inside the room and nodded a greeting. "Oh, you have company. And another. Hello! You’re popular today." He smiled as Pacey appeared beside him. Pacey smiled a greeting at Joey. Then his face dropped as he caught sight of Dawson within Joey’s dorm room. 

"Dawson," he acknowledged.

"Hmm, Joey do you think you could extricate yourself for a few minutes?" Her professor asked.

"Uh, sure." She glanced uncertainly at Pacey, then Dawson. "I have to go." She said then scurried after Professor Wilder. They halted midway down the hall, talking.

Dawson came over to Pacey at Joey’s room door. The look in his eyes was ugly and familiar. They were the same eyes Dawson confronted him with on his front porch three years ago, to hit Pacey and Joey with the information that he’d found out that his ex girlfriend and his best friend had become an item behind his back.

"So what are you doing here?" Dawson asked.

"I’m here to see Joey as pre-arranged."

"So, she’s going to tell you, then."

"Tell me what?

"About us." 

Pacey heart gave a little jolt that he tried his best to ignore. He wasn’t going to give Dawson the satisfaction. "By us, I assume you mean you and Joey. What’s Jen’s take on that?"

"Jen and I are finished."

Pacey’s laugh held no humor. "You’ve ruined another relationship because of Joey? And so you came to give Joey the good news expecting her to fall in your arms no doubt." 

"Doesn’t she always?"

"What is it with you, anyway?"

"I’m not the only one, it seems, who keeps coming back for more."

"Hey what can I say? Joey twisted my arm. How could I resist?" He added a grin to his flippant tone, watching Joey who was still talking to her professor, but throwing worried glances at him and Dawson.

"Give it up, Pacey. You couldn’t keep hold of her last time and you’re wasting your time, too."

"You’re the expert on that subject, not me."

"You’re a fool, Pacey. You’ve given up on a sweet girl like Nora for heartbreak with Joey."

"You leave Nora out of it!"

"You know what? I’m going to walk away. Right now. That’s how confident I am that you’re the loser this time."

"She chose me, Dawson. She made her own decision and she chose me. No ultimatums. Just Joey going for what she really wanted. Deal!"

"Is that what she led you to believe? If I hadn’t told her to go to you that spring, you’d have sailed away alone! I sent her to you, man. All I had to do was wait for her to work you out of her system before she came back to me. And she did." Pacey wanted to knock the smug smile off Dawson’s face. "Did you know she asked me to stay with her last summer?" He waited a beat then continued in Pacey’s silence. "I gotta say, Pace, she seemed to get over you pretty quickly. Dumping your girl at the prom during a screaming fit and leaving Capeside without so much as a good-bye will do that to a girl, I guess."

 

Professor Wilder was droning on and on. She could hardly focus on what he was saying because she couldn’t stop watching Pacey and Dawson. She didn’t like the look of their body language at all.

"Professor Wilder, I’m sorry to interrupt, but-"

"What have you got yourself into Joey Potter?"

"Huh?"

He looked pointedly at the two men stood at her dorm door. Dawson was leaning into Pacey’s body space, while Pacey stood half turned away from him, his body rigid and his jaw set. 

"Look, can I-"

"Make it quick.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying hard to move on from Joey and put his past with her behind him, Pacey meets Nora and becomes enraptured with her. But keeping Joey at arm’s length proves to be a difficult task...
> 
> ...This is set in season 5. (Explicit language)  
> Joey is desperate and Pacey comes to a decision.

Joey dashed back over to Pacey and Dawson. "Hey! Um, look, I have to go to my Professor’s office. It won’t take long. Um, Dawson-"

"Jo, I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you later." 

"Okay," she glanced at him uncertainly, unable to hide her relief. 

"Miss Potter!" Her professor called. 

"Pacey wait for me." She called over her shoulder as she ran back to the professor. 

Pacey and Dawson watched her go then turned to eye each other.

"Want proof, Pace? Page seventy-two of that literary journal." With a nod of his head, he indicated to Joey’s desk inside. "Everything comes back to Joey and me in the end. You of all people should know that." With a last smug look at Pacey he strolled off.

Pacey entered Joey’s room and closed the door. He found it easily. It was lying on top of some ring binders on her desk. He stared hard at its cover then slowly reached for it. He picked it up, went over, and sat on her bed. Carefully he thumbed through until he came to Joey’s published essay, entitled, The Kiss.

‘And then, just like that they were kissing. She didn’t know how they got there. She had no idea. The thought of kissing this boy hadn’t crossed her mind in years, which was weird, because once upon a time, that was all she ever thought about. And then, just like that, it was over. He coughed, she shuffled her feet... And she laughed to herself. It had been one of those moments, one of those moments where you shuck your status as mere mortal and achieve, however briefly, true greatness. She had shared many such moments with this boy, but now he was leaving and... Nothing would ever be the same again’ 

With a heavy heart he closed the book, not bothering to read any further, and let it drop back on to the bed. To be fair that kiss happened nearly a year ago. What hurt was that it happened so soon after he’d left Capeside. What hurt was that Joey obsessed over that kiss enough over the summer to recall it so vividly three months later to put it down in poetic prose. What hurt was it had prompted her a week later to chase Dawson to the airport, after a weekend visit, and convinced him to stay in Boston for her instead of going back to film school in LA. Unfortunately for Joey, Mitch’s death had caused an adverse effect on their relationship with Dawson and he’d ended up dating Jen. He knew he probably didn’t have a right to feel hurt. After all he’d left her. But he did.

Now Joey was saying that she wanted him back. Why should he believe that Joey had suddenly regained feelings for him? And if she really had, how could he trust them? Trust her?

Joey entered the room. She offered him a tentative smile before it dropped at the realization that he was gazing down at the literary journal. Panic flared hotly in the pit of her stomach and backlit her eyes. She went up to him, touching his arm to gain his attention.

"Professor Wilder dropped that off to me earlier today. I didn’t know he’d had it published." Her words hung awkwardly in the ensuing silence. She rushed on. "It was almost a year ago, Pacey, before I realized that Dawson and I were never meant to be."

"I thought you’d come to that realization the day you realized you were in love with me?" He smiled sadly at her. Joey opened her mouth to speak and then snapped it shut, swallowing painfully. "What, so now you’ve realized that you and I are meant to be, instead? Huh, Jo?"

"Yes!" she whispered, fiercely. "Yes, Pacey!"

"Dawson and Jen have split up. That is what he came to tell you, isn’t it?"

"I don’t care! Look at me Pacey. I don’t want Dawson!"

"He thinks it’s only a matter of time before you go back to him. He was pretty smug about it. Dawson does a very good smug, you know." He added almost conversationally, belying how furious he suddenly felt now that she was right here in front of him. "Then you can continue all that momentous kissing you guys are so good at."

"Pacey-."

"That’s a pretty hard act to follow, Jo. How do I compete with-?"

"You don’t!"

"Ah, yes, let me guess. We’ll create our own transcendental magic. Do you think that’ll be enough to blot out this iridescent wonder you’ve always shared with him? And the- and the- hold up, I can’t quite remember the exact words-" 

He picked up the book again and thumbed erratically through it, twisting and pulling away as Joey tried to snatch it from him. She was crying, but he couldn’t afford to look at her face and see the tears and the distress. Because then he might be tempted to touch her and hold her and give into the fierce tumult of emotions that begged him never to let her go. And he knew he had to let her go. He had to.

"Pacey, stop it! Please!"

"Ah, yes, here it is." He held the book out of her reach as he read and finally Joey let him alone, standing stock-still, arms folded into her body, tears standing in her eyes. "That’s it, true greatness. Do you think I can beat that, Jo? Do you think we can match that? Huh? It sounds like a very tall order."

"Are you going to punish me for something that happened a year ago?" She burst out.

"It’s also something that happened a mere few weeks after I left Capeside. God, Joey! I’d barely been gone five minutes and you were already sniffing around each other!"

"You dumped me, Pacey!"

"But I still loved you!" A brief silence.

"Yet you still dumped me and left!"

"So?"

"I-I was hurt and bitter. I don’t know. I felt confused. I couldn’t really understand why we had to break up, Pacey. I know you felt you had to sort your head out, but to me there seemed no real rhyme or reason for it. Dawson-"

"Was just there." He stated flatly.

"No! Not like that!" 

"When did you stop loving me enough to keep Dawson from going back to LA? Only a few months ago you were devastated by Dawson dating Jen. I’m just supposed to accept that now it’s me you want?"

"What and you haven’t been enjoying a rampant sex life with Nora?"

"Only after I came to Boston and found out you’d already fallen into Dawson’s arms again! And months after you had obviously moved on. So I moved on, too!"

Joey took a deep breath, massaging her brow before pinning him with a beseeching look. "Pacey, we’re constantly amazed by the curve balls life throws at us, aren’t we? I convinced myself that I wanted Dawson, that maybe there was some credence to that soul mate thing. After all, you and I hadn’t worked out. You broke my heart, Pacey."

"Really?" 

Joey looked away despairingly at his derisive snort. "Yes! Dawson has never had that power. Not even when I found out about Jen. I was angry more than hurt. Relieved! Not devastated. With Dawson, I wanted what was familiar. I wanted what felt safe. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again!"

"And when you did?"

"Mixed feelings. Emotions I didn’t dare examine even in the dead of night, much less in the light of day. I convinced myself you and I were over, water under the bridge. Can-can you understand that?" She reached out to him, but he shied away as though the heat of her hand was like a white-hot branding iron. He stood still and silent and Joey waited for a response, hoping.

"Pacey,’ she pleaded, when she couldn’t bear the tense silence anymore,’ won’t you listen to me?"

He sat down on the bed.

"I’ve seen Nora."

Slowly, carefully as though approaching a skittish cat, Joey sat beside him, grateful for the halt in hostilities at least. He sounded defeated, weary.

"How-how was she?"

"All fire and ice - at first."

"At first?" Joey asked nervously.

"Oh, there’s no question it’s over between us. But she was so sweet and understanding. And tried so hard to be stoic. She reminded me of Andie."

"I’m sorry." Joey murmured. Pacey turned his head to give Joey a long measured look that unnerved her even more because she couldn’t read his expression. "What?" she asked, more sharply than she intended.

"I miss her already." He said, simply, ignoring Joeys grimace. "She was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time."

"Pacey?"

He hadn’t intended to go straight over to Joey’s, but he found himself doing exactly that. He’d decided that he needed to think, to sort his head out. Why? Why wasn’t it a no brainer that he and Joey were an item now? 

Because it had never felt right. Too little time had elapsed since their break up. His scars were still raw. The circumstances were not right. Dawson was too much of a presence in her life, and in his. He stood up. That was why he had come straight here. Not because finally he and Joey could be together again and he needed to feel the reality of that straight away, but because he had another break up to initiate. The sooner the better.

Joey stood with him, now seeing a hard resolve in his eyes and the tightened lines of his mouth. Her stomach fluttered sickeningly.

"I have to go."

"Where? Why?" He stepped round her without answering. Joey grabbed his arm. "To get her back? Pacey answer me!"

"I told you. Nora and I are finished. She doesn’t want to see me."

"What about us?"

That long look again, his eyes flickering all over her face. She couldn’t read his eyes, but she knew. She knew what it meant.

"I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped." She blurted the words without the finesse she had planned for them.

"Is that what you told Dawson after I left Capeside?" He saw the tear slip down from her eyes. He sighed heavily. "It isn’t going to work, Jo. I’m just a mere mortal. I could never fill Dawson’s shoes and I don’t want to."

"Please don’t do this." Joey whispered, shaking her head in denial.

"Maybe you and Dawson will get it right one day-"

"Stop mentioning Dawson!" Joey shouted. "I hate the sound of his name on your lips! This is about us!"

"God, I hope you do get it right eventually." Pacey continued as if she hadn’t spoken. "Because this soul mate dance has caused too many casualties to have it end in nothing. And I’m tired, Jo. I’ve had a ringside seat to you and Dawson’s foreplay since the beginning and I just can’t do it anymore."

Joey clutched his arm. "What do you want me to say, Pacey? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. There’s nothing to say. I just know I can’t do this."

"I know I don’t want Dawson." She whispered, hoarsely, a tear trembled down her right cheek.

Pacey faced her and gripped her arms, his eyes boring into hers. They reflected the torture in her own.

"Joey, you spent most of our relationship putting Dawson first, and less than a month after I left Capeside you were back in his arms. What does that tell you? You lied to Dawson about sleeping with me to save his feelings not mine."

"Pacey-."

"Oh, I never did say, did I? Bessie told me how much she loved the Carolina jasmine you brought back for her as a present from our summer hiatus. You lied about that too, didn’t you? The present I asked you about, the one that weighed a ton, was really for Dawson, wasn’t it? As soon as we stepped on dry land, as soon as we stepped off the boat, you lied to me. How many other things did you lie about?"

"Please-" she begged.

"I know these things are in the past now, Joey, but they were all about Dawson and he’s still very much in the present. And I won’t go back to you and be hounded by the constant fear that you’ll rediscover feelings for him. I never want to be wrecked by you like that again. The price is too high. My hearts all tuckered out, Jo." 

Joey began to cry in earnest now, trying to control the threatening sobs and deep, trembling breaths. She tried to speak, but he rushed on as though he desperately needed to push the words out. He took a deep breath, his voice shaking with emotion, but his eyes never wavered from hers. "You see, I think if I turn around and walk out of that door, you'll run back to Dawson. And I think if I was weak enough to give us another chance, I’d have to learn to live with the fear that one day you'd realize you still loved him and would run back to him anyway. Because you are that weak when it comes to him, Jo." She shook her head in denial, but he carried on. "I’m not stupid enough to go back there, Joey. Dawson may be prepared to put up with it, but not me. I won't let you jerk me around the way you've done with him. He keeps coming back for more. But I’m not going to."

"Y-you’re not being fair!" She wailed like a child.

"Oh, Joey, his hands came down gently on her shoulders and she grabbed hold of his shirtfront, don’t think I’m putting all the blame on you. I’m not. I’m not perfect. Maybe if I hadn’t let my own insecurities break us up in the first place, we wouldn’t be having this conversation now. It’s not just you. It’s my problem too. And I choose to deal with it this way."

"But-."

"Remember the dean offered me another chance to go sailing again? And I turned it down to stay here? I’m going to see if he’s got anything else I could do. If not, I’ll think of something else. Anything else. But not here in Boston. Jen is friends with Nora and I’d hate to run into her and each time be a reminder of how much I hurt her."

"You could at least -"

"Jo "

Before he could finish speaking, she had planted her lips on his, her hands sliding around his body to clasp tightly together behind his back. Her lips moved urgently, desperately against his. The heady scent of her perfumed skin and the fruity shampoo she used in her hair invaded his nostrils. The heat of her body permeated through his clothes until he felt his own body heat up too. The crush of her breasts against his chest, the pressure of her thighs against his own, and the warm firmness of her lips pulled on his senses, igniting the fever that always swamped him when Joey Potter was around. His body tightened, his cock hardened. He couldn’t help it. She always did this to him and he found himself returning the kiss, hard, angrily. 

Joey drove him back until the back of his legs hit her bed and he almost toppled down onto it. And still they kissed, violently, ravenously, hands everywhere, insatiable, desperate, as if there were only the here and now, as if there were no tomorrow. Joey came up for breath, her fingers flying up to his shirt buttons, trying to flick them open. Pacey’s hands came up and stopped her, catching his breath now, sanity returning. Joey pulled her hands away from his and instead began to unbuckle his belt. Pacey actually felt his heart squeeze painfully with need. His stomach tightened. Even his knees felt weak. She made him feel like he was drowning. Like he had no control. It was the worst possible feeling he could have had right now. He grasped her upper arms, putting her aside from him.

"Pacey?"

He put distance between them, his back to her.

"This only makes it harder."

Joey glared at him with impotent frustration. "You say you don’t want to hurt her? What about me? Why are you hurting me? What is wrong with you?" Joey yelled. "Why do you always run away?" She stormed over to him, pulling him round to face her. "Why can’t you fight for us?" 

"I’m not ready!" He shouted back at her. "Okay? I don’t trust you! And it-it doesn’t feel right. How can I carry on with you on the back of hurting someone I care deeply about? And I’ve given you a dozen other reasons why we can’t. Half of them begin with the letter D."

"Fuck you, then!" she blazed at him, tears standing out in her eyes.

Pacey flung a hard angry look at her then turned to make for the door.

"No!" She ran around him, blocking his way. "I’m not letting you go!"

"I’m sorry, Jo." He tried to move past her. She grabbed the front of his shirt. He didn’t slow down and still tried to move toward the door. Joey held on. Pacey stopped and took hold of her wrists. He looked at her.

" Pacey, I promise you! I swear it's you I want. I-I’ll prove it!" 

"Jo, don’t, please." He whispered, his voice cracked on the last word. 

"How can I prove it to you? Tell me, Pacey! I don’t want to lose you again." She was almost hysterical. Her fists bunched in the material of his shirt. She was desperate and didn’t care how much it showed. "I’ll do anything! Please. How can I prove it?"

"I don't know, Jo!" Tears brimmed in his eyes. This was killing him. He needed to get out and get out now! "I-I don't know." He finally wrenched free of her grip and was at the door now. He opened it.

"But you love me." She whispered to his back, looking small and forlorn in the middle of the room, finally accepting that she couldn’t stop him. 

"It's not always enough, is it?" 

"But you do still love me, don't you?" He was silent. She took a hesitant step toward him. "Don't you? Please, Pacey, ' she begged, 'leave me that at least."

"Yes Jo." It came out on a sigh. "Isn’t it obvious? I still love you." He looked pointedly over his shoulder at her and quickly looked away. A small, mirthless laugh escaped his lips. "I probably will for a very long time." He echoed words of the past, still with his back to her. And then he was gone, closing the door quietly, his dying footfalls, slow, quiet and measured.

Joey ran to the door, laid the side of her face against its cool surface. 

"Y-you should-should have given m-me the chance to prove it to you, P-Pacey! You should have given me the chance!" She cried. "I still can." She slid down to her knees. "And I’ll do it, too. Time is on my side. A v-very long time. Then you’ll come b-back to me. You’ll come back." 

Then she gave whole rein to her pain, and cried heart-wrenchingly, great body racking sobs that wrecked her, leaving her weak and breathless, long after Pacey had gone.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a sequel of 18 chapters to this fic, set 10 years later, but I’m afraid it is unfinished. I don't know if it will ever be finished so I'm in two minds as to whether to post it or not


End file.
